THROUGH A CANNABIS HAZE AND ROSE-COLORED GLASSES
(A Twisted Look at Sex, Religion and Politics...
in verse, of course)
Anthony Weiner’s crotch-shots, Mylie’s twerking, government not working, and a boatload of stupidity fill our days and our newspapers. Perhaps it’s time to put some of that into perspective – in poetry – that makes no pretense at being delicate, politically correct or even a bit cautious. Nothing is sacred in this collection of jabs and observations… not even baseball. Of course, it's not all jabs and pokes, but it's all delivered without hesitation, and oft with a tad of sarcasm.
Dedication
To all the politicos, pros, pundits, prayer mongers, and pains in the ass who make me insane enough to want to write poetry. I blame you for this.
Procreation Proclamation
In Pontifical Profundity
And political profanity
A pose, puritanical at best
The vagina is procreational
And never recreational
Except at god-like penis’ bequest.
It says here in my Bible
So bite me, it ain’t libel
Sex for only procreation is allowed
So tighten up that belt so chaste
For there is no time to waste
Our purity the clergy has avowed.
So despite that little nit
That every woman has a clit
Intended solely for her joy in passions’
thrust
In sex she must not partake
Without intent to procreate
In the honor of our clergy we must trust.
But curious am I
Bound for hell, I won’t deny
Where’s the logic in this edict so profound
Men
can do it round the clock
With no thought of babe to rock
My discrimination case is very sound.
One more way the church conspires
Oppress the women, threaten fires
Hell and brimstone are their futures
without doubt
Beaten, raped and degradation
For one reason – elevation
And the excuse to let your fucking prick
workout.
Tequila Mockingbird
While sitting in my happy spot
A spot I sought to sit and rot
My brain
A spot where i could not be caught
Where perhaps a thought just might be
wrought
With strain
I reached out for my friend.
Jose was sitting at my side
I was for him a blushing bride
Again
His golden fingers reached with pride
Caused toasty warmth deep down inside
No pain
But that was soon to end
Upon a branch it did alight
A fright it gave while ending flight
O’erhead
A mockingbird not very bright
With voice too shrill, I wished it might
Be dead
So a message I would send
Of my plight he seemed to mock
Took delight in how he liked to talk
Too much
I wished that he would take a walk
To find some other drunk to stalk
And such
He would not shut up at all
To his voice i tried to close my mind
And hoped some other he would find
Indeed
Jose and I, here to unwind
Just solace and peace for us sublime
We need.
The fucking bird had too much gall
For disturbing all my thoughts profound
While still reposing on the ground
Alas
Dearest Jose my hand had found
I downed the rest then aimed around
His ass --
I launched my love with heavy frown
And found the target, true and neat
Knocked said bird off fucking feet
Aplop
Upon my head he sent his shite
The crap and fall, caused his heartbeat
To stop
Another tequila sundown.
Today,
I am tired.
I am tired of the
political $candal$
Erupting daily
A way of life in 2014.
as parti$an chicken$
finally come home to
roo$t.
I am tired of their
demand for entitlement
no longer ‘a $ense
of’;
they have made it a
fact.
I am tired of bullying
and lying
being the qualitie$
that are valued
in a person of
bu$ine$$;
of the ‘anything goe$’
when it come$ to
putting
a dollar in their
wallet;
of hypocritical elite
crying ‘foul’
when $omeone el$e doe$
what they al$o do.
Today, I am tired
of watching good
people work harder,
longer, for le$$ pay,
no compen$ation
and never a thank you.
I am tired of hearing
‘they all do it’,
‘they don’t care’,
‘it’$ just the way it
i$’
when in regard to
human right$,
$afe work condition$,
corporate and
political ethic$,
the law,
the food we eat
and the water we
drink.
I am tired
of never hearing the
word$
‘it’$ the right thing
to do,’
of tho$e who make the
law$
and enforce the law$
being above the law$;
of those who need help
mo$t
being denied that help
fa$te$t.
I am tired of living
in a $ociety
that hide$ under the
robe of God
$o they never have to
turn the other cheek,
and while they
conveniently forget
the one golden rule,
decrying all other
God$
using Him as a mean$
of
political expedience,
hate mongering while
tapping into
His bountiful fountain
of
tax-free revenue.
I would like once more
to hear
the moral man’s voice,
see the good corporate
citizen
display humanity to
‘human assets’,
to see societal moral
compasses
live by their own
words.
I crave respect –
respect for others,
respect for ideals,
beliefs, traditions,
for ourselves, our
land, our world,
instead of this
quagmire,
this clu$terfuck of
‘me’ and ‘mine’,
for$aking all else
for the dollar in
their wallet.
I am tired.
The Modern Miracle of Political Proficiency
Time
bombs tick
Rulers
talk
at table
round
no words
profound
Starving?
Strife?
check the
ground
no oil
found
let them
eat cake.
We’ll
travel, look
be wined
and dined
our
bellies full
but
babies? A renewable resource.
Sixty-watt
smile
Need
braces?
Raise
taxes.
Oh look!
A camera.
Pandemic
bugs
Swine
flu? Oh dear!
Save us
first
Then
we’ll help you.
The
fear’s the game
Some bait
and switch
Don’t
worry
We know
what to do
Justification
For any
plight
Panic – a
renewable resource.
Shiny
shiny
Over here
Just
trust us.
I will
sing for you.
bombs galore
new acid
rain
soldiers
die
mothers
cry
in ivory
halls
lets pick
our fights
not
wrongs or rights
rather
who will grease our palms.
no nitty
gritty.
what a
pity
blood – a
renewable resource.
Might is
right
The rest?
who cares.
My state
dinner and
peace
prize await.
Dirty air
No water
fresh
Species
die
Their
mothers cry
Ice caps
melt
Earth
shivers and shakes
We need
new ways to turn a buck
Gather
round
For words
profound
Copenhagen?
Sure,
Bring me
a beer.
Pitter
patter,
can’t get
at ‘er
stupidity-
a renewable resource
Wait for
the cue
Of what
to do
Gluttony
reigns
and we’ll
all go down together
Erection Campaign
Some press! Some
press! My kingdom for some press!
A baby to caress
An issue to obsess
A pancake to flip,
christen a ship,
Profound words
from my lip
Yes, stroke me!
Some power! More
power! Unbridled power,
Above others to
tower
Blare horns, toss
a flower
To send men off to
war
Then I’ll send a
few more
I don’t need to
say why –
I’ll command it;
they’ll die
Watch as mothers
grieve, cry
It strokes me.
Fear him! Jeer
him! Vote not for my foe
Tell him ‘say it
ain’t so’
Watch. Your taxes
will grow
The economy slow
It’s all his
fault, you know,
But I’ll make
things sound
Bank profits
abound,
Get more oil from
the ground
Now stroke me!
An ‘X’! An ‘X’! By
my name put your ‘X’
Watch the muscles
I’ll flex
It’s much better
than sex.
With my mandate
held tight
Now bend over,
don’t fight
This won’t hurt.
You’re so tight!
Time to fuck you,
alright?
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