DAILY NEWS, September 20th, 2011

DAILY NEWS – September 20, 2011

DATELINE – IN THE LAND OF THE ETERNALLY IRREPARABLY IGNORANT – Yes, that is definitely where I am, exposed to the queen of all things fucking asinine, Michele Bachmann. How the hell can anyone take this insane, raving woman seriously? You think you have problems now with jobs? Hell, put this woman in charge and the last five years will be a fucking cakewalk. I find it hard to grasp that ANY step to decrease the chance of people getting cancer could be spun in a bad way, but this is the shit that happens when religion interferes with politics. They are NOT good bedfellows. It is sort of the equivalent of a donkey and a chicken procreating – anything that comes out of that is gonna be ugly as hell, useless as hell, and make a lot of irritating noise. To raise the issue of HPV vaccines in a political debate, insinuating that it is an invitation for young girls to instantly turn into whores and sluts is not only ignorance at its peak, it is unbelievably irresponsible. To then take that already dumbass notion from the debate and turn it into a public statement to the press that ‘it causes mental retardation’? What the fuck is that!!! Despite ALL evidence to the contrary from every possible aspect of the medical and scientific spectrum, this stupid shit-for-brains bitch stands up and makes this statement to the world, THEN counters it with the proviso, a week later, that she was just repeating what she heard, and that she is not a scientist so we should just shrug and say ‘well, hell, that’s okay then’. We’re talking preventing cancer in young women, for fuck sake. How is this even a debatable issue? If her point was to stress that the vaccine should be voluntary, then make that fucking point, but to make such absolutely wrong statements for the sake of striking some political points in a bullshit debate is reprehensible. The thing is, she is not an economist either, so where does she get her information on setting the economy straight? Who whispered that in her ear as she passed through a crowd? What about her position on foreign affairs? Terrorism? Did she get her information on what NASA should be doing from a fucking Star Trek paperback she picked up at the gas station? Any politician that just spews crap from her lips for the sake of grabbing a headline, or more to the point, causing absolute fucking panic, is not someone who should even for one minute be held with any respect. She has no credibility, and if this is what the Tea Party and the Republicans feel they can present to the world as a potential leader, holy fucking crap, are we in trouble. Michele Bachmann – living proof of the merits of birth control. Michele Bachmann – a terrorists dream for leader of the free world.

DATELINE: IN EUROPE, IN THE ‘YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME’ ROOM – After the last several debacles in the US Congress and their inability to come to agreement on absolutely anything, bringing the economy to a screeching halt and showing absolutely no fucking leadership at all, I cannot believe that anyone associated with the US government has the fucking audacity to go to Europe and demand they get their house in order financially, and get their leaders actually leading. Holy fucking crap! Congress would have a hard time passing a fucking bill on what font to use on the god damned bathroom doors right now, so how is anyone supposed to take them seriously in this case? The arrogance is astounding, and considering who they are speaking to, that is a pretty tall fucking order, but still, there they are, dishing out advice on how to hold off a downgrading or default for countries like Greece, Italy, Spain and Ireland. Yes, this has become a situation where global co-operation is necessary, but the US is in no position to pontificate on the merits of cooperation and negotiation, not on the heels of what has to be the most politically internationally embarrassing show of asshole selfishness and partisan posturing, with absolutely no regard for the consequences or the people FOR WHOM THOSE REPRESENTATIVES WORK, that we have seen in the last forty fucking years.

DATELINE: AT THE CROSSROADS WHERE THE HOLY TRIUMVERATE MEET – No, I am not talking God et all. In this case, that holy triumvirate, those Voldemortian entities that must not be named or discussed are sex, politics and religion, and it comes in the form of the repealing of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. How the hell this policy ever made any fucking sense is beyond me, other than it appeased, again, those narrow-minded fear mongers who love to shout their at-best questionable truths to the media (see the Michele Bachmann tirade above). Finally we have a situation where the government, after MUCH foot dragging and resistance, put religion in its place, got their own asses out of the bedrooms of the nation, and did their fucking jobs. The sad thing is that it took so long to do it. It’s apparently okay to have Oval Office blow jobs, to display your Wiener on the internet and on every fucking television station in the modern world, to sleep with one woman in the bed you would normally share with your wife when she is not in the hospital having cancer treatments, to allow the woman you are boinking to drown in a river because you can’t afford the scandal of being seen with her should she be rescued… need I go on? The list of sexual proclivities in Washington is long and ugly. These good, God-fearing Christians, though, had the unmitigated gall to tilt at men who have sworn an oath to protect their country over themselves, who have trained to put their lives on the line every day with their brothers, and who happen to have a sexual orientation that differs from those expounded by the lawmakers of the land. How dare these stalwart politicians, these upholders of all that is good and moral, allow their intolerance and ignorance to bear down on good, honest men and woman who wear a uniform to serve their country? How dare they still make statements like ‘preserving the sanctity of marriage’ in preventing gay and lesbian marriages? I am sure that the long list of political perverts were thinking nothing about the sanctity of marriage while they boinked their way into the fucking history books. Finally the right has been wronged, but that’s just a first small step. Hopefully they will enforce this ruling properly, allowing these soldiers to do the good work they have undertaken, and will not allow the intolerance and ignorance of those higher up the chain of command to continue to permeate. Gee, look… there are gay soldiers in the US military, just like in every other fucking military. They have been acknowledged, and the walls of the Pentagon did not crumble at the announcement. That job is going to be left for the mismanagement of Congress and the financial political machine in Washington.