ARTSY FARTSY FLUFF CRAP RECAP

Goodbye 2011, We hope you take these idiots with you!

*cues CanCan music*

Hey, here comes that time of year
When we sit back and gladly cheer
We wave goodbye to stories queer
And Lindsay Lohan Lohan Lohan

Chris Aquilera tried to sing
A truly patriotic thing
Perhaps next time the words she’ll bring
Since she don’t really know em.

Kate and Willie tied the knot
And Spidey’s webs he finally shot
Then Chaz raised shit with his foxtrot
The sponsors tried to blow ‘im.

Gaga carried shoulder-high inside an egg
Rupert Murdoch for clemency he had to beg
Kim Kardashian married for a whole week
Mel Gibson should never speak, never speak, never speak!

Maria kicked out Ahnold’s ass
And Beiber’s semen moved real fast
Show hosting torches had to pass
Bye Oprah, Regis Philbin, Philbin

A rock appeared on Britney’s hand
And Charlie Sheen amazed the land
With his tiger piss/Adonis plan
The ratings he was killin’, killin’

Palin, Romney, Bachmann too
Santorum spewing lots of poo
With Cain and Ron Paul (oy vey) What a crew!
Scripts for Jon Stewart fillin, fillin.

So now we start a brand new year
It will require much more beer
As more of this crap we’ll have to hear
Damn Lindsay Lohan, Lohan Lohan.