Iran Must Not Have Nuclear Weapons? Why?

I mean this in all sincerity. Why is everyone so adamant that Iran getting a nuclear weapon would be the absolute worst thing on the planet? Don’t get me wrong; I think there should be NO nuclear weapons held by any country, but since 9 countries (1 of which still ‘pretends’ that they don’t) already have them, I’m not sure that they should have the right to dictate that other countries should not.

 

Perhaps a look into the past (although I know that might not be convenient to some, or relevant to others), would be required. America’s relationship with Iran is over two hundred years old. Much of that time, they were allies. Iran shared a border with what was then the USSR, and during the Cold War, that was of value to the US. Relations with England and the USSR were tense at the time, but America had their backs… as long as it was convenient to the US.

 

During WWII, Iran was a conduit for aid from the UK and US into Russia. It also was key in helping Polish refugees and Polish Armed Forces to escape ahead of invasion by the Axis countries, so much so that Stalin, Roosevelt, and Churchill issued the Tehran Declaration, guaranteeing both self rule and territorial rights for Iran.

 In 1953, however, Mohammad Mosaddegh was elected Prime Minister of Iran. The oil industry in the country had been nationalized just two years earlier, basically taking over the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company and slapping the UK in the face in the process. Britain wanted to retaliate, but good old Harry S Truman said no… until he said yes. Suddenly ‘Communism’ was too much of a threat, at least  to the oil industry there, and so MI6 and the CIA decided it was time for some regime change. Here is where the wheels come off.

To be fair, by this time, the US and UK were getting pretty handy at trying to force leadership changes in other countries – handy at trying, but not succeeding. The US reportedly tried to force regime changes 72 times just during the Cold War. So, what gives the US the right to think that they can just disregard the choices made by the people of a country, and override them, to the sole gain of the US? According to the Cline Center at the University of Illinois, 72 is just a drop in the bucket. They point to 350 coup attempts initiated by the US, 191 of them just since 1982.

So why, out of all the countries of the world, is the US so adamant that Iran cannot have nuclear weapons? Well, they have a cultist leader. Human rights mean not a lot to the Iranian leaders. Their administration is perhaps unstable. There is major corruption at the top. Now look at some of the countries who do have nuclear capabilities and tell me how they are any different than Iran. Russia, China, India, North Korea, and Israel all tick all of those boxes. The USA also does now.

 

There was an agreement with Iran to allow the rest of the world to monitor what they were doing, in an attempt to cool off hostilities, and as a small show of faith between two countries that have a tumultuous history, but that didn’t matter to the latest administration in America. Israel was the one to start bombing in Iran, just because they could, and because Netanyahu needs every distraction he can create while committing his plethora of hideous crimes and genocide, and the Orange Felon bought into it, hook, line, and sinker.

Be honest about this: the illegal bombing of Iran this last weekend was not about anything that Iran was doing. As Secretary of State Marco Rubio said, ‘Forget the intelligence.’ It was about two other governments who are horrible corrupt, who have leaders who are adjudicated criminals, who have created unmitigated disasters in their own countries, and will now resort to damned near anything just to save their own skins, and if they can line their pockets in the process, then so much the better. Creating this new global crisis has removed the scrutiny of their own illegality, their cruelty to their own people, the mountain of human rights violations they commit on a daily basis, their willingness to sacrifice human lives, and the environment, and world peace and stability, without batting an eye.

Perhaps our efforts are better spent on demanding (or forcing) regime change in Israel and the US, and leave Iran alone. The world would be a better place for it. Demanding that Iran go to the ‘negotiating table’ to hash out a penalty for crimes they have not yet committed, is no different than the rest of the world trying to ‘negotiate’ their way out of illegal tariffs that they never implemented. There is no negotiating with a lying madman.

Back in the Saddle, Riding Past Mountains of Horse Shit

 

If I am dusting this thing off after these years, I want to do it properly. I will try not to do the long editorial shit (like yesterday) unless I am really really pissed off. Note: That seems to happen more as I age and as I witness the rising of the Fourth Reich.

 

For those keeping track, as we watch The Fuhrer and his BeBe Buddy getting ready to strike the match for the powder keg that is the Middle East, Israel has been bombing civilians in Gaza for 1 year, 8 months, 1 week, and 3 days. Of the 251 hostages that were taken by Hamas on October 7, 2023, 53 are still being held, and at least 20 are believed to be still alive. Apparently blasting the everloving hell out of Gaza wasn’t such a great strategy for getting hostages back, but it’s one hell of a plan for getting a few seaside ocean resorts in the area. Apparently, the loss of life isn’t the issue at all anymore; now it’s just a couple of wrinkly old dogs having a pissing match despite the inability to hold up a hind leg.

 ~*~ 

The G7 meeting in Kananaskis, Alberta has ended. One of the results of the meeting was a concerted, united effort to (finally) offer more substantial support to Ukraine by way of sanctions against Russia, money and munitions for Ukraine, and an ultimatum. It seems that in the massive vacuum left by a bloviating bully leaving early, the adults were allowed to actually do some work. This has gone on way too long, and there is no way that Ukraine should be compromised in any way to get a peace deal. They didn’t start this shit, they didn’t want this shit, and it was 100% unnecessary, other than for the greed and ego of what is quickly becoming pathetic and paranoid Putin.

 ~*~

As Heir Fuhrer is denouncing criminals and sending his jack-booted, pussy-whipped, mask-wearing thugs to pick on Senators and city Comptrollers, one wonders what it will take to get law enforcement to turn their attention to the real criminals in the US – the ones sitting in the GOP caucus rooms. Now, before you get all pissy with me about it, I know, they aren’t all criminals, but come on, the ones who are just sitting there saying nothing and going along to get along are as criminal as the ones actually doing the shit.

 ~*~

Bill C-5. Why is it that politicians cannot create laws that don’t have other more nefarious crap buried inside them. Carney’s C-5 is intended to break down some of the trade barriers that exist between provinces in Canada. Now, this is a good thing, but it is only one step. The rest of the work has to be done by the provinces, but this clears away some of the red tape along the way.  But then, it goes on to enact the Building Canada Act, a delightful little ditty that allows the federal government to ignore whatever regulations or procedures or restrictions that might exist for a project, if they deem it an issue of ‘national interest.’ This overreach potentially means that any First Nations land claims, any environmental issues, any health concerns, can be totally disregarded, and there is no recourse to stop it. Of course, a bill like this should have proper debate and discussion before being passed, right? Hell no. Of course not, because then all the things wrong with it would be exposed. How do I know this? Because any time the conservatives agree to limiting debate on a liberal bill, you know there is shit in there that ought not be, and here it is. This is how the shit starts. Write your MPs and tell them that this bill is bullshit. If the project is in the national interest, then there is a way to make it work with discussion and agreement, not just ramming this shit down our throats.

 ~*~

Yesterday, a young woman from Georgia passed away. Well, actually, she passed away 4 months ago, but because she was a few weeks pregnant, the government ordered that she be put on life support until the baby was viable. She was a government-sanctioned baby incubator, and nothing more. Her life didn’t matter. Her dignity didn’t matter. Her family’s wishes didn’t matter. After four long, expensive months, it was determined that the baby was viable. They cut her open, pulled out the 1-pound baby, unplugged the ventilator and let her die… again. Please someone explain to me (actually, that’s rhetorical because I really don’t give a crap about your stupidity) how this is pro-life. This is pro-birth. The government made the demands, the family now has to deal with the hardships, not the least of which will be the medical bills. In a time when the Trump government is more than happy to deprive living people of the medications they need to keep on living, when they find it entertainment to see how seniors juggle between paying for prescriptions or paying for their food, and really not being able to afford either, they just dumped absolutely smothering debt onto the shoulders of a family who has been put through a very special, very sick hell. Oh, but there will be social programs to help this family, right? Fuck no! Those are all being cancelled as well. Food stamps? Lunches at schools? Help with daycare? I mean, come on, you had the baby, so now you deal with it. If any of these people were prolife, they would also be all in on social programs to help all children, all families, all seniors, instead of vilifying them. If they were really pro-life, as Jesus intended, then they would want the same rights for colored people, for immigrants, for gays and lesbians, for trans people, but noooo, they are only pro-birth, and then, well, you call all fuck off, unless of course you are a white Christian conservative.

 

 

Time to Play Taps for America?

 

I have held my tongue for a long time now. When Heir Trump showed up on the scene, I figured that irony was dead, and what was the point in trying to talk about something so completely unhinged. I figured that our friends to the south would eventually figure it out, but here we are. Now, I do think they are figuring it out (FAFO baby), but is it too late?

Take the G7 meetings these last three days. You would think, in the event of a war breaking out in the Middle East, the leaders would want to work together, to provide a united front. The Fuhrer had most of the main heads of state right there to discuss it with, but no, Captain Ego couldn’t do that. Instead, he does the ‘I’m too important’ crappola, and with the poise of a tantruming five-year-old, he stomps off to his plane and fucks off back home.

This administration is like a masterclass in hypocrisy. The Secretary of Defense is too busy defending his stupidity and drinking to actually know anything about his portfolio. The Secretary of Education wants to shut down public schools. The Secretary of Commerce is head cheerleader for the destruction of the economy… the sous chef of the old TACO truck, if you will. And the Secretary of Health is determined to kill as many people as possible, as quickly as possible, using his worm-rejected atrophied brain to the best of his ability.

They screamed about Hilary’s emails, but when it comes to the Sec Def sharing attack plans on an unsecured device, using an unsecured platform, and including unsecured personnel (although thank you for that incompetency), they offer crickets. They claimed that Biden was suffering from dementia, but apparently the moron who cannot stand straight, who cannot read, who blatantly shows the sans-worm devouring of his cranial grey cells is totally okay.

So now as we are on the verge of war with Iran, for who knows what possible reason, we hear them saying that Iran cannot be trusted to have such powerful weapons, like nuclear warheads. We hear about how regime change would be a good thing for them, so perhaps dropping a few bombs on them would help. They talk about the cruelties of an Iranian regime on their own citizens. Now change the word ‘Iran’ to ‘USA’ in that paragraph.

The thing with ‘conservative values’ is that they are not about values at all. They tell you who to hate, who to point fingers at, and how someone else is ripping off the system by being poor, or having health issues, or being the wrong color or religion. Hate the gay people, the trans people, the immigrants, the special needs people, the seniors because they are robbing you of what you should and could have. Don’t look at the corporations or the millionaires who are making millions under the guise of creating a strong economy. Remind yourself that there is only one thing that trickles down, and it sure as hell is not money from the rich. The cruelty of the rules don’t matter, as long as they don’t impact your own perfect little Christian life. The cruelty is the thing that they crave, because it helps those at the top stay at the top.

So, amid the assassinations, the depriving of healthcare and education, the ignoring of judicial decisions, the protests and parades, the arrests, the lies, the bloviating, the hypocrisy, please tell me how the US now differs from Iran. Change has to come from within. Watching the reactions of the GOP these last few weeks, I am not sure that’s possible anymore. Perhaps it truly is time to break out the bagpipes, and squeeze out a plaintive rendition of Taps for the world’s greatest experiment in democracy.

 ~ * ~

 

The G7 is taking place in Kananaskis, Alberta this week. If you catch nothing else of the festivities, be sure to catch the absolutely magnificent eyeroll from Italy’s Giorgia Meloni as she responds to Macron whispering in her ear, almost assuredly about some asinine thing that the US Fuhrer said or did.

 

Gad-Dafi Duck -- Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-... That's all, folks.

DATELINE: CELEBRATING SPRING – Arab Spring, that is. Muammar Gaddafi is dead. This would be a good time to cue the oppressed munchkins into song as they all start to look for that yellow brick road. The house fell on that slimy bastard, and now the people of yet another country, have the opportunity to live a life free from tyranny and despotism. For the people of Libya, as for those of Egypt and Tunisia, it is truly a day to rejoice. 42 years hell at the hands of one man was more than enough. Finally the future for the people of that country is something to think about, dream about, plan for. I cannot imagine what it is like to live in a place so totally devoid of hope.

Sadly, the word here is ‘celebrate’. Do not for one minute think that I mourn the death of Gaddafi. Like Saddam, like Osama, or that I will when the time comes for the likes of Chavez and Bashar al-Assad. They were/are hideous heinous vile scum of the earth… and still I find myself pondering the notion of celebrating the death of another human. It’s not something new; it is something that on some level makes me feel a twinge of guilt… and I hate that. I was raised to believe in the sanctity of life. It’s a nice pipedream, one that should be straightforward enough but is muddied by politics, hatred, violence, war, greed, and despots. Adding to my anger is that this desire to see them dead was something they brought on themselves. They made us want them dead. The choices they made, the priority they gave their lives over absolutely everybody else, their unmitigated greed, ego, hubris…. It’s a long list of qualities, but I cannot manage to wrap my brain around how anyone can think so much of themselves and so little of the rest of the world, to believe that others are there simply for the convenience and comfort of the chosen few. It’s truly sad, something that should be researched to find a cure or a preventative vaccine. I want to celebrate Gaddafi’s death, but I can’t. Instead, I will rejoice in the success of the people of Libya, their strength, their determination, and now, their futures.

What I would like to ask, though, is that while we list the names of these absolutely heinous people, we remember other names. How about remembering the name Mohamed Bouazizi? I suspect many of you are asking why we need to remember this name. Why should the name of Bouazizi slip from our lips as easily as Bin Laden, Chavez, Kim, or Ahmadinejad?

Mohamed Bouazizi was a Tunisian street vendor. He was 26 years old when, on January 4, 2011, he set himself on fire to protest the horrendous treatment he received at the hands of government officials and to make a statement that the time had come for change. He had no idea what would happen, what he would start, the number of lives he would change. Oh that he could know. Perhaps he does. This one act, this act of a man who had decided death was better than the oppression he suffered for trying to make an honest living, was the catalyst for the Tunisian Revolution. His death moved the people of Tunisia, made them rise up, lift their voices and demand change. Ten days later, President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali stepped down after ruling with an iron fist for 23 years. Mohamed Bouazizi’s death gave birth to the Arab Spring, and because of his actions, on the day that Gaddafi died, the people of Tunisia voted in democratic elections for the first time. Yes, there is a sweet fucking irony in that fact.

Because of Bouazizi, Tunisia has elections, Hosni Mubarak was overthrown and stands trial, Muammar Gaddafi was been killed, Ali Abdullah Seleh agreed to step down, the governments of Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Oman, and Morocco have implemented fundamental changes. Uprisings and protests continue in Syria, Bahrain, Algeria and Iraq, where more people are seeking changed, demanding change, fighting for change and, sadly, dying for change.

While you watch your news, while you vent about politics, debates, GOP leadership candidates who do not have the brains to blow their own noses, government officials who do not have the balls to do what they should be doing because they are too concerned about being re-elected so they can spend another four years doing nothing but worrying about winning the next election, think of Mohamed Bouazizi. The next time you shrug and say ‘it is what it is’ or ‘you can’t fight city hall’ or ‘what can one person do’, think about Mohamed Bouazizi

DAILY NEWS - FEBRUARY 17th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 17th, 2010

DATELINE: ARGENTINA – All ships wanting to go to the Falkland Islands must now first apply for permission to do so from the Argentine government. This is all because of the never-ending almighty fucking quest for oil, because that shit just hasn’t caused enough problems in the world already.

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – Wow. Where to fucking start. The Official Languages Commission is now investigating complaints that there was not enough French used in the opening ceremonies and that the French that was used was ‘obligatory’. Yes, it fucking was, and yes, there was enough of it. More to the point, what the fuck are we doing spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on this? The hope of those complaining is to get the closing ceremonies changed so more French is included. For the love of god, this is what we have to bitch about? People STILL starving and dying in Haiti, people STILL starving a dying here, people out of work, people losing homes, jobs shrivelling up and we are going to get our fucking panties in a twist because there was not enough French spoken at the Opening Ceremonies? How totally fucked up can we get as a nation?

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – Already 8,000 tickets were cancelled for viewers of the events at Cypress Bowl, home of the snowboarding events. That means for the last couple days, people who held those tickets, who bought flights and accommodation to come to Vancouver to take part in the events, who could only get the Standing Room Only tickets, get to miss out on everything. They will get the price of their tickets back... whoop-de-fucking-do. Now, though, they have announced that for the next few days, an additional 20,000 tickets daily will also be cancelled (just the cost of the tickets is over $1M). Now, while I realize VANOC does not control the weather (although their fucking arrogance would suggest that at some point they probably did think they could), they DID make the decision to have these events at Cypress Bowl which is notorious for its lack of snow most years, and THEN they made the decision to NOT have a back-up location for the events should the weather not co-operate with them. They DO own this clusterfuck... not the weatherman, not the skiers and sure as hell not the spectators who paid for tickets in good faith only to get screwed over by VANOC total lack of foresight.

DATELINE: IRAN – President Ahmedinejad responded to US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s comments in Qatar but warning the world they will ‘regret increasing sanctions’ on Iran. He went on to say that Mrs. Clinton’s remarks were ‘not wise’. This totally adds to my argument that the man is nucking futs and that perhaps Mrs. Clinton knows a crazy prick when she sees one.

DATELINE: NEW YORK – David Letterman slammed Canadians in regard to the accident that killed Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili. Letterman accused us of being hypocrits because we made adjustments to the track to prevent a similar accident. The death was a tragedy by all accounts, and no one denies that, and perhaps something more could have been done, but honestly I don't know. However, I suppose if there is anyone who would know about being a hypocrite, especially when beating on his desk and expounding the fucking moral high-road, it would be David Letterman. His opinion gets about the same amount of credence as the god damned people screaming that our snowboarders pants aren’t baggy enough.

DATELINE: OTTAWA – Omar Khadr’s lawyers have filed an emergency motion to quash the government’s decision to ask the United States to not use evidence gathered by Canadian officials in their prosecution of Khadr. This is admittedly a compromise position based on the Supreme Court ruling of last week that the government is not legally bound to demand the repatriation of Khadr. Khadr’s history and connection to terrorist training camps not withstanding (wow, I almost sound like a fucking lawyer!) here is my bitch. When people go to other countries and commit crimes in those countries, why the fuck do we spend millions of dollars to get them off the hook? You go to someone else’s land, you fucking abide by their laws and if you break those laws by peddling your dope or stealing or yes, being involved in a terrorist fire fight that lasts 4 hours with US soldiers and then throwing a grenade and killing one of those soldiers, you face the fucking consequences. We do not allow people to come to our country and totally blow off our fucking laws. We do not allow women to get stoned in our streets for using a fucking cellphone, and so if those people who do live by that law come here and start to stone a woman, we take issue. If you break a law, YOU pay the fucking consequences... not everyone in the god damned country.

DATELINE: OHIO – Monks have taken a local No-Tell Motel, one opening and publicly used as a house of ill-repute, and have started to turn it into a religious retreat. Vibrating beds and holy water -- this could give the whole missionary position thing a new fucking spin.

DATELINE: OTTAWA -- The former head chaplain for the armed forces has been charged with several sex crimes, including buggery, a crime which no longer is part of the criminal code here, but because the offences date back to 1972, they used the litigation of the day for that. It’s yet another black eye for military echelon here, as well as for the catholic community. The truly sad part is that we are all just sitting back and shrugging and saying ‘yeah, again... so what?

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – Sex-pot Uber-comedian Stephen Colbert (yes, I will resort to flattery and whoring myself sometimes) will be in Vancouver today and tomorrow to film his show and take part in the Olympic Speed Skating events as a pseudo-dignitary. I hope there are no fucking security fences around him that might collapse. Perhaps he should be stationed right beside that fucking outside flame because that seems to be the only thing still secure (totally fucking impervious to anyone who is not a celeb) around the place.

DAILYNEWS - February 16th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 16th, 2010

DATELINE: MINNESOTA – A farmer, intent on giving his wife the perfect valentine, used manure to outline a giant heart in a snow-covered field. Apart from the obvious ‘how the hell is she gonna know if she doesn’t fly a fucking airplane’ issue, one has to wonder at the thought process that goes into offering a shit heart to your valentine. Even if she can’t see it, she will probably smell it. If Dash did that for me, he would want to hope that come the following year he had a whole lot of fucking roses planted in old Shit Heart Ridge on the back 40, cause otherwise he would be looking up at some fucking daisy roots by the end of the week.

DATELINE: ASIA – As the Year of the Tiger kicks in, people celebrated the luck and prosperity that sign enjoys. For starters... that’s a load of crap. Yours truly is a Tiger; apparently someone forgot the luck and prosperity here. However, if you are, in fact, a fucking Tiger, especially in Indonesia, your luck has run out. In that country, the government has decided it would be good to sell tigers to individuals as status symbols. These cats are already so fucking endangered that the WWF used this weekend to kick off a major campaign to try and help replenish numbers. Something tells me the Indonesian government didn’t get that fucking memo. Leave the damned cats alone and in the wild where the good Lord put them.

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – As Canada celebrates its first gold medal won on home turf, complaints abound regarding several issues. According to Quebec Premier Charet, there was not enough French language used in the opening ceremonies. They could have done the whole fucking thing in French and he would still find something to complain about. Get a fucking life. In this end of the country, we have people who speak French, Chinese, Mandarin, German, Japanese, Korean, Punjabi, Hindi. I have no issue with the French preserving their culture, heritage and language, and in fact I celebrate it, but get fucking real.

DATELINE: QATAR – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is concerned that Iran is becoming a Military Dictatorship. DUH!! Have you ever listened to that fucking Ahmadinejad? She’s worried he MIGHT be becoming a military dictator? Her plan... to talk to the Saudis to have them talk to the Chinese to have them support a tougher stand against Iran. I sort of remember a fucking grade-school game where we all had to pass a message along. The problem was that the message at the beginning was NEVER the same as the message the last guy in the line got, so there could be some fucking flaws in the logic of the Secretary of State. Of course, the main worry for everyone? Fucking oil. People! I tell ya, its getting to be horse and buggy time again!

DATELINE: ROME – The Pope has called all 24 of his Irish Bishops to Rome to discuss the thirty years of sexual abuse of children there, and the subsequent cover-ups. While his lips say the acts should be detested and deplored, one can’t help but wonder if his real message is ‘just don’t get fucking caught’ because the one thing this man excels at is hypocrisy.

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – With the Olympic Games comes the protest games, which this weekend turned to riots on downtown Vancouver streets. While I am fully in support of the right of people to protest, especially when it comes to people in this country who are starving, homeless and dying while we focus tens of millions of dollars on obtaining a 4” gold medallion, the entire message is lost and the cause is only hurt once those protests become an excuse for vandalism and general hoodlum behaviour. Here’s a little hint for you – If they are wearing black masks that fully cover their face, they are not protesting. They are just stupid fucking criminals and should be locked up with the rest of the fucking riff raff. If we really want to solve the problem, get out the fucking tasers and then send the little bastardos across the line where there is at least a modicum of real fucking justice.

DAILY NEWS - February 11th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – February 11th, 2010


DATELINE: WASHINGTON – Snowmaggedon? Give me a fucking break. Spend a week in God damned Winnipeg and you will learn what real snow is!

DATELINE: NEWFOUNDLAND – There is a group of citizens lobbying the government to institute a Loose Moose hotline. I looooove me some loose moose. These ones, though, want to be able to call for a hunter to come and kill any moose near a highway as soon as one is seen. It’s because those goofy newfie mooses are crappy at playing chicken, and people are getting killed because of it. No worries, though, because once we are all back to the horse and buggy as soon as every fucking car has been recalled, you will have new worries about loose mooses.

DATELINE: BRAZIL – Following in the wonderful tradition of Toyota and Honda, Volkswagen has now issued a recall of 200,000 Novo Gols and Novo Voyage cars because their squeaky wheels didn’t get greased. The bearings have been shown to seize up, causing the wheels to lock or even fall off. If that ain’t a perfect fucking metaphor for the auto industry these days, I have no idea what is. Can’t help but wonder if there are mooses in Brazil.

DATELINE: WASHINGTON – Over 70% of Americans polled have said that Palm Pilot Pen Palin is NOT qualified to be president. DUH! Polls for her are down in every regard. Apparently that hopey/changey thing ain’t working so fucking well for her either. It might not be such a problem for the rest of us if that Bushy/Wushy asshole hadn’t fucked up so much.

DATELINE: DUBAI – An ambassador from an undisclosed Arab country has had his marriage annulled... undisclosed might be the key fucking word. It seems that, at the end of the marriage ceremony, he lifted the veil to kiss his bride and was confronted with crossed-eyes and facial hair. I am not fucking making this up. Apparently the picture he was shown of what he selected to be his bride was actually her sister. So, what the fuck is the matter with crossed eyes and facial hair? They went through their whole courtship without him ever looking at her, so what is his fucking beef?

DATELINE: IRAN – Iran announced today that it created its first batch of 20% enriched uranium. Uranium enriched to that percentage is too high-grade to use for electricity generation, so what the heck else could he be planning to do with it??? The mind fucking boggles... a nice boy like that... such an honest face... and now other nations are starting to worry he just MIGHT be trying to create new weapons with it??? DUH!

DAILY NEWS - February 3, 2010

DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 3rd, 2010

DATELINE: WASHINGTON – The ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ military policy is being debated. Funny how the fucking politicians can’t get their shit together. I will make it easy for you... leave the fucking discrimination crap at the door, or at least for the Pope to do. We can see how much fucking credibility it gives him.

DATELINE: QUEBEC – Doctors from this province who VOLUNTEERED to go help out in Haiti are now claiming they should be paid $702/day for their work. Apparently doctors in Quebec are too fucking stupid to understand the concept of VOLUNTEER. No wonder Danny Williams fled the fucking country to get medical attention.

DATELINE: JAPAN – You actually have to start feeling sorry for those poor Toyota people. When it rains on them, it really fucking pours. The Japanese government has ordered Toyota to look into a problem with the brakes on their newest model Prius because of the large number of accidents involving them. The company has not issued a recall... yet... but damn, it has to suck to be working in their corporate offices right now.

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – The Norwegian Star, a cruise ship that was supposed to be docked and used as a hotel for high-paying guests AND 13 children from the Make-A-Wish organization, has decided it is not economically viable to park a big fucking ship like that for ten days without having a sell-out crowd booked. Nine days out from the Olympics, they have announced they are cancelling, leaving 1500 people and the group of terminally ill children in the lurch. God forbid they try to come up with an alternative for them, like bringing in a smaller fucking boat or something, or making it so it doesn’t cost a fucking fortune for one of their floating bedrooms.

DATELINE: IRAN – They have stepped up their game in the space race, celebrating putting their first rocket into space. Contained on the fucking thing – a turtle, a mouse and some worms. What the fuck they are supposed to do up there in space is totally beyond me. Seems to me that someone was pissed off about getting skunked on a fishing trip and jammed his god damned leftovers in there for a lark. I can’t wait until the fucking SPCA gets hold of this one. Yes, People, this IS the way to show those fucking martians that there is intelligent life here on Earth.

DATELINE: OTTAWA – Bishop Lahey was SUPPOSED to enter a plea today on charges of possession and trafficking of child pornography. It got postponed until April. I know this isn’t fucking news or a surprise, but I just don’t want anyone to forget about this SOB. Again, more evidence of the Catholic Church’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Really Give a Flying Font’ policy.

DATELINE: FRANCE – A man was denied citizenship because he has forced his wife to wear a burka. His wife is a French citizen. Before you all get your panties in a fucking knot, I will tell you why this pisses me off. IF this was a legitimate thing where her rights were being trampled by her husband... and it could be... the case loses all fucking credibility because of all the other crap the government has said about wearing a burka. It is ‘contrary to the values of the Republic’, it ‘promotes homophobic violence’, it is a ‘visible sign of radical religious practice’. Make up your fucking minds! If you want to stop radical religious practice, shut down all the churches. If it’s about equality between men and women and wearing your religion on your sleeve, shut down the fucking convents, because every argument against wearing a burka can be made against wearing a habit. Get your shit together, France. This is just fucking hatred and discrimination and you know it.

DATELINE: LOS ANGELES – Michael Jackson’s doctor will be facing charges of ‘involuntary manslaughter’ for providing the singer with the fatal dose of sleeping crap. You realize what this means? More fucking Jacksons on the television and in the newspapers... because we just haven’t had enough of it already.

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