DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 3rd, 2010
DATELINE: WASHINGTON – The ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ military policy is being debated. Funny how the fucking politicians can’t get their shit together. I will make it easy for you... leave the fucking discrimination crap at the door, or at least for the Pope to do. We can see how much fucking credibility it gives him.
DATELINE: QUEBEC – Doctors from this province who VOLUNTEERED to go help out in Haiti are now claiming they should be paid $702/day for their work. Apparently doctors in Quebec are too fucking stupid to understand the concept of VOLUNTEER. No wonder Danny Williams fled the fucking country to get medical attention.
DATELINE: JAPAN – You actually have to start feeling sorry for those poor Toyota people. When it rains on them, it really fucking pours. The Japanese government has ordered Toyota to look into a problem with the brakes on their newest model Prius because of the large number of accidents involving them. The company has not issued a recall... yet... but damn, it has to suck to be working in their corporate offices right now.
DATELINE: VANCOUVER – The Norwegian Star, a cruise ship that was supposed to be docked and used as a hotel for high-paying guests AND 13 children from the Make-A-Wish organization, has decided it is not economically viable to park a big fucking ship like that for ten days without having a sell-out crowd booked. Nine days out from the Olympics, they have announced they are cancelling, leaving 1500 people and the group of terminally ill children in the lurch. God forbid they try to come up with an alternative for them, like bringing in a smaller fucking boat or something, or making it so it doesn’t cost a fucking fortune for one of their floating bedrooms.
DATELINE: IRAN – They have stepped up their game in the space race, celebrating putting their first rocket into space. Contained on the fucking thing – a turtle, a mouse and some worms. What the fuck they are supposed to do up there in space is totally beyond me. Seems to me that someone was pissed off about getting skunked on a fishing trip and jammed his god damned leftovers in there for a lark. I can’t wait until the fucking SPCA gets hold of this one. Yes, People, this IS the way to show those fucking martians that there is intelligent life here on Earth.
DATELINE: OTTAWA – Bishop Lahey was SUPPOSED to enter a plea today on charges of possession and trafficking of child pornography. It got postponed until April. I know this isn’t fucking news or a surprise, but I just don’t want anyone to forget about this SOB. Again, more evidence of the Catholic Church’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Really Give a Flying Font’ policy.
DATELINE: FRANCE – A man was denied citizenship because he has forced his wife to wear a burka. His wife is a French citizen. Before you all get your panties in a fucking knot, I will tell you why this pisses me off. IF this was a legitimate thing where her rights were being trampled by her husband... and it could be... the case loses all fucking credibility because of all the other crap the government has said about wearing a burka. It is ‘contrary to the values of the Republic’, it ‘promotes homophobic violence’, it is a ‘visible sign of radical religious practice’. Make up your fucking minds! If you want to stop radical religious practice, shut down all the churches. If it’s about equality between men and women and wearing your religion on your sleeve, shut down the fucking convents, because every argument against wearing a burka can be made against wearing a habit. Get your shit together, France. This is just fucking hatred and discrimination and you know it.
DATELINE: LOS ANGELES – Michael Jackson’s doctor will be facing charges of ‘involuntary manslaughter’ for providing the singer with the fatal dose of sleeping crap. You realize what this means? More fucking Jacksons on the television and in the newspapers... because we just haven’t had enough of it already.
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Toyota: I have to be glad their headquarters are in Japan, for something new - crappy Japanese cars - how does that sound, for a change?
ReplyDeleteI must say, I am highly disappointed in Toyota. In the past they have stood behind their product to include buy backs of vehicles in question. My sister and my nephew both have Toyotas, one just purchased a week ago. Each time they contact the dealer they are told " We are waiting to hear from Toyota, just keep driving until we contact you" Now, maybe it's my warped, twisted mind..but to tell someone to "just keep driving" , knowing full well that the issue is the accelorator..is a bit in bad taste, nest' pas
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