DAILY NEWS - February 5th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – February 5th, 2010

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – Go Australia!!!! WHOOOT!! The Australian Olympic Team has arrived in Vancouver, and they have hung their wonderful kangaroo flag from their balconies at the Olympic Village. The flag is the trademark symbol for the Australian team, and they have the blessing of the Australian Olympic Committee to use this flag. HOWEVER because of sponsorship issues (read this as ‘VANOC cannot make money from this flag’) the Aussies have been told to take it down. VANOC – GO TO HELL! Enough of your fucking fascist bullshit! I hope the Australians keep their flag up. I WANT a flag with that wonderful freedom-fighting Kangaroo on it. I hope every other country coming to the Olympics brings a flag of their own to fly. The greatest day in this province will be the one when the IOC finally gets their fucking pedantic dictatorial asses out of here. I just hope the Aussies know to be careful. If VANOC sends the RCMP in there to take it down, undoubtedly the tasers will be zapping like fucking popcorn kernels on a Delhi sidewalk.

DATELINE: JAPAN – The President of Toyota has apologized to owners of his product and reassured them that their vehicles are safe. This, as he is sitting there waiting for the next recall that SHOULD already be issued... for the faulty re-gen brakes on the new Pruis and also on the Lexus hybrid. I can already hear the fucking class-action lawsuit lawyers zipping around taser beams in the Vancouver Olympic Athletes Village.

DATELINE: IQALUIT – The G7 Finance Ministers and some prominent financial/banking experts will be meeting in the Canadian frozen north, away from distracters (protestors) to go dog-sledding and to discuss bank reform. The G7? Where the hell are the other G13? Apparently this is the meeting that none of them really give a shit about. It’s simple people... the financial institutions are fucking ripping off the people and lining their pockets – just like the fucking governments are doing to us. I can hardly wait to see what the fuck gems come from this erudite meeting.

DATELINE: OTTAWA – Prime Minister Harper told a sports magazine that he would rather be living out his real dream of playing in the NHL. Believe me, SO DO WE wish he was doing that instead of running our fucking country. Someone give that man a puck and send him out on the fucking road.

DATELINE: WASHINGTON – Figures released today show that there were 20,000 jobs lost in the US last month. They also show that a total of 8.4 million jobs were lost to the ‘bump’ in the economy. Canadians however are rejoicing at the number of new jobs created, although the vast majority of those are part-time without benefits and so the number might look good, but for the working person, it totally fucking blows as well. It is about time the politicians stopped blowing rose-colored smoke up our asses and started doing what they were supposed to, and being fucking straight with us. Maybe if we had even a shred of respect and trust in our leaders we could muster some confidence to help the economy as it still tumbles into the crapper.

DATELINE: NASHVILLE – That wild and crazy collection of Mad Hatters have started their wonderful Tea Party... complete with the head Mad Hatter, Sarah Palin... face it, they really don’t come much madder than that. Talk about fucking wonderland. They sit and sing against big government and big spending, yet they are already fighting within their ranks about who should take the wheel and steer the ship, while they charge the ‘grass roots’ hundred of dollars each just for the privilege of sitting in the fucking room with them. It looks like a very merry unbirthday for this group of political rebels, as they slowly sink into pots of their own tea pee.