ALMOST DAILY NEWS – February 13th, 2010
DATELINE: FLORIDA – a 73-year-old man was arrested for robbing banks. He has robbed three banks, taking $600 only each time, just enough to cover his mortgage payment that he can’t make right now. He’s 73 years old. Where the hell is he supposed to get a job to pay a fucking mortgage. The bail was set at some huge fucking amount. Is there no justice anymore? The fucking bank managers should be the ones going to jail. The whole situation is a fucking crime, and Mr. 73-year-old fighting and doing what he can just to survive is a victim more than anyone else is.
DATELINE: ARKANSAS – A new PETA billboard has been put up to promote neutering of pets. It says “Doggies multiply faster than Duggars”. LMFAO. It would only have been funnier if they had a picture of fucking octo-mom on there.
DATELINE: HAITI – It has been one month. Many many millions of dollars have been raised and sent to help these people. Why the fuck are there still little ones dying and starving? Where is the fucking money gone?
DATELINE: TEXAS – It’s snowing there... LMFAO. Wait while I drum up some sympathy. Park your fucking cars, go out and make a damned snow angel. This is god’s way of telling you to chill, and also to tell you that no matter how big or important you think you are, Mother Nature always gets the last word.
DATELINE: LOS ANGELES -- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are suing a British tabloid over rumors of their breakup. **think for a minute** Who gives a shit??
DATELINE: UP SHIT CREEK – Toyota announced ANOTHER recall, this time voluntary (yeah, I can’t imagine how many people will pass on the opportunity to get in this fucking line-up). 2010 Tacoma 4WD trucks have production defects in the front drive-shaft. There might still be hope for KIA yet to own the fucking market.
DATELINE: HALLMARK HEAVEN – Tomorrow is Valentines Day. Whoop-de-fucking-do. They call that ‘Fix the Bottom Line Day’ at Hallmark and every fucking floral shop in North America.
Thanks for the note on the guy in Florida - I'd been wondering how I was going to make ends meet. Now I know.
ReplyDeleteAnd cars...? Japanese cars are the new Americans, Korean the new Japanese.