SUNDAY SERMON - February 7th, 2010

The Sunday Sermon

There is none. I was thinking though that if there was one it would have to be about celebration; that event when miracles happen, children cry, pigs fly and cows give blood. I was talking to the Papst Blue Ribbon Beer bottle on yester eve when it occured to me that this also was a miracle, for the Pabst-which also means Pope in Kraut-no longer exists. Yet, there I sat in my usual flumaxed attitude with a bottle of Pope Blue Ribbon that no longer existed. I only relate this to you, my many minions of hope, that it is possible in the day of Brittany crotch to have a real miracle. I bent to the cow, she gave blood. Pure, red yum yum blood. I finished my Pope Blue Ribbon thinking damn this is not finished-everytime I did, it refilled. I decided to call Horror Hunters, one of them reality spook catching shows that in reality never catch anything but the naivitoes of the non-nimble brained Brittany crowd. Probably folks like you sitting and reading this and thinking what the fuck, right?

So they come on over to the old farm to see, film, touch and taste this true miracle. One of them spoke to the other.

"Jesus Christ, get this on film. There is a ghost here. Look at him! He is the farmed beer ghost!" The other fat slob woman spoke to him. By the by, have you ever noticed that fat broads are all mystics? Now I love me a good fat broad, God only knows, but the ones on these reality shows are not only fat but greasy and dirty and pig like or so it seems.

"We got him, we got him. This is great! Can we cut the farts?"

"Look," I said. "Damn it, I did not fart. It was the Pope Blue Ribbon Beer ghost!"

"Don't be silly!" The fat broad explained to me that ghosts do not fart.

Anyway I am getting off the topic of celebration. The reality show crap was just for something to fill the space as ever and ever I do not have a lot to say. That Bimbo Bambi needs me to fill in for her on Sunday because she is out collecting specimens, or so she says. Beats the hell out of me. Anyway I celebrate the joy of you and life and think that we should all have a Pope Blue Ribbon Beer to celebrate. A fair wish for humanity I should think, don't you?

"Dillinger come in for dinner!"

"Alright Mom! Be right there just gotta finish first-aaahhhhhhh! Damn that was a good finish. Ta Ta you Blogyoualls.

Dillinger Flaikwaiter