Shock Totem has set this blog in motion, and we don't want to be left out, so today, you get a bonus blog.
Ten things about yours truly (it was a hard thing to just pick ten):
1) I was born on a mountain top in the canadian rockies-did naked scuba diving in a local lake as young as six where I had my first sexual experience-(ahem ahem-the mind boggyoualls)
2) I like Pink. No, I fucking LOVE pink. I drive a big rig... a pink big rig. I have a pink teacup poodle named Adolf. I buy pink duct tape by the crate. Fucking love the shit!
3) At the age of six I left home after beating my drunken sot of a step-father to death with a sock stuffed with dolls and lead weights stolen from the local fishing store. It had to be done.
4) I love donuts, especially Tim Horton’s donuts. Especially the ones with the pink fucking sprinkles.
5) I started my own trucking company at the age of 16 after a failed venture in the body guarding business.
6) I destroyed the local office of Fritze's Modeling Agency because he would not take my photos. I had always planned to be a fucking runway model, so I had joined the Doukhobors and me and fifteen other nubile nymphettes, naked of course, wrecked the office, destroying for Fritz Applebaum any future opportunity to ruin the dreams of other simple delicate lovely lasses like me.
7) After serving my prison term at the B.C. correctional institute for beautiful yet languid youths I once again branched out-starting a catering business for local truckers where I met my first love, Bing Algonquin, who was a reformed pimp and was starting his own church after being converted by Dillinger Flakewaiter
8) I really didn’t mean to tip the Nash Metropolitan in the drive-thru lane, but I am not sorry I did because that fucking fireman with his jaws of life was one hawt hombre.
9) My favorite number – 69.
10) There is no one in my world more annoying than fucking Dash, and the stupidest thing I ever did was marry that damned bastardo just to get the other half of the lottery ticket.
There you have it -- 10 Things to totally fucking love about me. Keep the chain alive. Paste the pick and share your shit.
Of the 10 Things I love about me, Bambi is so worldly, I fear I will never be able to compete. She humbles the rest of us.
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