DAILY NEWS - February 9th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 9th, 2010

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – The Australia Olympic Team’s Boxing Kangaroo will be allowed to stay put in the Olympic Village. Finally someone from the IOC pulled his head out of his fucking ass and took an incredibly brief look at the real world.

DATELINE: DETROIT – Amidst waves of great fucking shock, Toyota announced today that it will be recalling all 2010 Prius’ AND several other hybrid models, along with the Lexus HS250h (what a stupid fucking name for a car! Why can’t there be a gazelle or a cheetah or something with some zing) and the Japanese-sold Sai. Their brakes all need tweeking, apparently, although perhaps someone might mention the value of not just slapping a dime-sized bandaid on this repair as well. The news is accompanied by waves of great fucking commercials stating that we should still have confidence in their cars. Their money probably would be better spent preparing for the fucking tsunami of class-action lawsuits coming their way.

DATELINE: HAITI – A Haitian police officer has now testified that several days prior to the New Life Refuge people being caught with 33 children in their bus that they were attempting to take out of the country, he had stopped the same group of people with 40 children, also heading for the border. He removed the children from the bus, then told the ‘missionaries’ to contact embassy officials to learn the proper procedures and get the appropriate documents if they are going to try to help children. The fact that they want to ‘help’ the children is therefore suspect now because they obviously knew what they were trying to do and didn’t give a flying fuck about procedures or probably even helping anyone but themselves. They claimed to have documentation from the Dominican Republic to take 100 children across the border. Hello? Ain’t that sort of like getting permission from the pawn broker to rob the fucking house down the street? For what it’s worth, which isn’t one hell of a lot, Dominican officials deny that any such documentation exists and have done so from the moment these group of ‘do-gooders’ was discovered. So, I have two fucking questions. How many OTHER children did these bags of douche take out of the country already? AND now, because of their asinine piety, how many children are going to die in Haiti because it is now so much harder to get any of them out of there for legitimate reasons, like necessary urgent health care? Reports are that, because of the fear of children being snatched and sold, those pilots flying the ones most in need to medical facilities are being bombarded with questions and demands for paperwork that in some cases just does not exist. So, New Life Refuge... thanks for fucking up a whole lot more lives in a place where they really did not need any more bullshit. Whether or not your intentions may have had a hint of merit, your fucking stupidity has caused unfathomable hardships for so many more. I wonder what ‘your god’ thinks about that... or are you exempt from that whole ‘road to hell is paved with stupid fucking selfish intentions’ crap.

DATELINE: OTTAWA -- It’s a new day and new fucking opportunity for Comrade Harper to once again trounce not only on the rights of the people who, for some totally unfathomable reason elected the SOB, but to once again do the ‘It’s okay when I do it, but not anyone else’ fucking dance. Former Public Works Minister Christian Paradis had an Aide, E-I-E-I-O. And this Aide, although not elected, decided what was in the best interest of the Canadian public, E-I-E-I-O. Yes, it's getting to be the same old song, and we are being treated like fucking children by this government, telling us what is good for us and what we need to know. So, despite the fact that a report had been cleared for release through the Access to Information Act and authorities, HE, this lowly, apparently incredible self-important and I would venture to say probably highly over-paid Aide, pulled the report, had it censored in the extreme, delayed the release of the report for 82 days beyond what is allowable under the Act, and then claimed he did it to save the news organization who had requested the report, a couple of dollars. The report, once 137 pages long, was pared down to 30 pages, because the other information in it really was of no value. Of no value, you say? It showed again the incompetency of this government to run the Public Works to manage their real estate effectively, showing vacancies that were higher than the national average and returns on investments that were weaker than the national average. It apparently also showed that perhaps there is a need for Mr. Gomrey to return to the fray to chair, quite admirably, another fucking government inquiry that goes absolutely nowhere, but has the undeniable ability to line a whole lot of fucking lawyer’s pockets. Comrade Harper, you screamed at the top of your voice of the fouls committed by the opposition. Apparently you took good notes though, so that NOW you can commit those same fouls, although you made sure you could do so without that pain in the ass thing called a Parliament riding shotgun on you at all. When it comes to fucking hypocrits in politics, you set the Canadian standard.