DAILY NEWS -- AUGUST 11, 2010

DAILY NEWS – AUGUST 11, 2010

DATELINE: THE ONLY PLACE HOTTER THAN HELL’S KITCHEN -- Russian PM Putin is at it again! You gotta fucking love that guy... a man’s man! A hero’s hero! The new Burt Reynolds posing on a ... nope, can’t do it without a barf bag. While wildfires consume Russia, Putin leaps to the rescue, jumping into a water bomber and guiding it over the leaping flames, because you just gotta grab that holy grail photo op at every opportunity. Who the hell cares that the fire has now reached the radioactive-contaminated grounds near Chernobyl, that it is expected the heat and the wind created from the fires will pick up those contaminated particles and spread them even further around the country? Who the hell cares that as people wait and watch and pray, Putin is making backroom nuclear deals with the likes of Chavez and Ahmadinejad, clearly not learning the lesson of how nuclear capabilities in crap infrastructure maintained by fucking idiot despots is a recipe for true disaster and more of a threat to their own countries than they are to anyone else? None of that fucking matters. It was a photo op, to show the poor, sick, impoverished people of Russia that they have much for which to give thanks; they have that hawt sexpot hero Prime Minister Vlad.

DATELINE: MODERN-DAY 300BC – Speaking of despots and assholes... This week, a 35-year-old woman, Bibi Sanubar and her unborn baby were murdered. The woman was accused of being involved in an illicit affair that resulted in her pregnancy, and so that was clearly reason enough for her to be publicly flogged 200 times, held captive for three days for the obviously very thorough investigation and trial, and then shot in the head. Let’s hear it for enlightenment and the Taliban, those wonderful interpreters of all things religious that say everything wrong in the world is because of women. Funny thing is that it never seems to matter that it takes two to have an affair; the father of her baby was not even considered for prosecution despite his very vital role in the affair... not that he deserved to die for that either. Let me say this again – the woman was flogged, 200 times with the lash, in public, before she was shot in the head three times, in public, and her body was ‘dumped’ in a ‘government-controlled’ area. Where the hell were all the politicians over here? Why was no one saying one fucking word about this woman? This crime, this murder, was committed by Afghan militia with what appears to be government approval, since they most willingly provided the land on which she was ‘dumped’. There is no excuse for the inhumanity shown to people in general and women specificially in these countries, and as the names of the people involved in this murder are public record, why the hell is no one, not the US government, not the UN (I would bitch about our own government remaining silent, but that is probably a blessing considering the influence of Comrade Harper on the world condition). Where are the human rights groups, or the loudmouthed Sarah Palin’s of the world, the Nancy Pelosi’s – those women of influence who choose instead to use their voices to sing only partisan praises and patriotic platitudes meant in the long run to only feather their nests. Shame on all of you! How many more Bibi Sanubar’s will be tortured and murdered for bullshit reasons, all for the sake of glorifying the power and judgment contained in an Afghan penis?

DATELINE: ANYPLACE BIG BROTHER CAN BE WATCHING – A Toronto teen has lost his licence for six months and was sentenced to twelve months probation for dangerous driving. The cool part about this is that no one saw him speeding 100 km/hr over the posted speed limit. No one recorded him doing it, no one in the area complained about it, and yet... Vladimir Rigenco did, however, post on an internet forum for BMW’s that he had been able to get his car going that speed. A member of this forum, one from the USA, contacted police and told them. Now, I am all for people obeying the rules of the road. They are there for a reason, primarily the safety and overall good of the people on or beside the roads. I get that. And while I know this boy entered a plea of guilty and was thus fined, his comments on a forum are nothing more than heresay, could well have been nothing more than 19-year-old macho bragging. I guess my problem is that while we do have to own our words, when are we safe to make a comment or exchange a thought, or brag about something we may or may not have done? Can legal action be taken based on something posted on a forum or on a twitter or facebook status? If someone jokes about lifting an ashtray from a fucking restaurant, should he be prepared for the Stasi to burst through his door at any minute to arrest him for theft? While I agree the boy in the story was doing something wrong and dangerous, I seriously question the means in which it was handled, and fear that as we become more dependant on virtual computer communication, we surrender just a little bit more of ourselves to the establishment.