DAILY NEWS - AUGUST 13th, 2010

DAILY NEWS - FRIDAY AUGUST 13th, 2010

DATELINE: IN TIME OUT – That would be where you should find Dr. Laura Schlessinger right now. Yes, that paragon of fucking virtue, that woman who has the answer for everyone’s problems, that judgmental bitch who extolls her values and belief, and demands her listeners to accept them as gospel, opened her mouth this week and removed all doubt as to her narrow-minded blather. While reprimanding her caller for being in a mixed-race marriage without having the right sense of humor to handle what should have been expected racist comments, she spewed the n-word not once, not twice, but repeatedly... many times... over and over and over, providing the justification that since it is used by some comedians and on some HBO shows, then she too should be allowed to say it. You gotta totally love that fucking logic. The simple fact of the matter is that no one should have to ‘expect’ those sorts of comments from anyone. Under any circumstance, it is not acceptable, and just use the excuse that other people do it holds no water. She did apologize... in a tone that only reinforces the feeling that it was offered simply to appease the media. However, if you are in the business of flogging your name as a place of refuge, a source of inspiration and hope for those who are experiencing trouble, it might be a good idea to leave your fucking prejudices, hatreds and issues at your own damned house.

DATELINE: FROM THE BELLY OF A BEAST, AT LEAST IF YOU ARE LISTENING TO THE REPUBLICANS THESE DAYS – Giving new meaning to hate-mongering and fear-mongering, Texas Republican Representatives Debbie Riddle and Louis Gohmert have floated the notion that babies are being born in the US with their soul purpose being to attack the USA. Yes, I have no problem believing that there are women who go to the US on holidays so they can give birth there. For many of them, the health care is probably better there than it might be in some fucking rice paddy, or some dusty bombed-out hole in a mountain. But the premise for these two brainiacs is that the moms come to America to guarantee their babies have US citizenship under the premise of the 14th Amendment, then leave to raise their children to be terrorists, teaching them to hate the US, so they can then grow up despising their second homeland, slip in and destroy the country from within. Gohmert, babbling and screaming like a fucking second string actor in a stage production of One Flew Over The Cockoo’s Nest, waivers between knowing a grandmother of a terror baby and getting the information from a retired FBI agent, although the FBI has denied the existance of such a plot. Whether or not the plot is credible is not the fucking issue, though. The issue is that the terrorists soon will not have to worry about doing anything to anyone, because they have won... they will soon have everyone on the fucking continent hiding from airplanes, taxicabs, suitcases, baby bottles, burqas and now pregnant women. Quick! Lock yourself in your basement! It is the only way to preserve the freedom you were guaranteed, you embrace, you demand.

DATELINE: THOSE HALLOWED HYPOCRITICAL HALLS OF VATICAN CITY – In November of 2009, a report was issued regarding the extent of the sexual abuse covered up, condoned, even perhaps promoted within the Catholic Church in Ireland. It cited over 300 cases of abuse in a period of less than thirty years, those cases involved 46 priests. The treatment of the victims was horrendous, especially in light of the fact that the report discovered that ALL the bishops in the country were aware of the abuse and participated in, at the very least, going along with the status quo of doing nothing to protect the children. Let me say this again... they chose to do nothing to protect the children, the most vulnerable, the most innocent and pure in society, who clearly needed protection from those who took a vow to spread the word of God and live a chaste life... a decision they made of their own free will, unlike the children they tortured. Five bishops were named in the report. Two resignations were accepted, two more bishops offered their resignations on Christmas Eve. This week, eight fucking months after the fact, Pope Benedict, that infallable vicar of god, has refused to accept the resignations. No reason has been offered, but while he sit there and spews bullshit about taking a hard line on the issue of child abuse and clerics with itchy twitchy dicks, he once again shows his true stripes... he does not give a shit about anything but his holy fucking reputation, the protection of the church and the damnation of the children who were abused, in essence abusing them again. This Pope and every damned cardinal who stands there beside his holy assholed-ness should be ashamed of themselves.

DATELINE: ON A SLOW BOAT FROM SRI LANKA – There are almost 500 people on board, women and children included, and they have been on that rusted fucking bucket of filth for ninety days. They are people looking to have a real life, or at least the most meagre possibility of a life, something not possible in their own country. It has been reported that most of them are suffering from illness from the trip, and from TB, and they are arriving on Canadian shores tonight, amidst the screaming and shouting of people, presumably educated, compassionate, humane people, who want to see them turned away. In 1939, the Canadian people made the same outcry, forcing the government to refuse to allow the SS St Louis to dock on Canadian soil. That ship had 900 people aboard, 900 people who had breathed a sigh of relief when their ship left Hamburg, 900 people who were turned away from every country they tried to touch because... the passengers were Jewish, and were escaping from the nazi regime. We Canadians had so much to be fucking proud of back then, our upstanding moral convictions that these people would destroy our country, would upset the delicate balance of the nation, so we, like everyone else, turned them away. We had no idea of, nor apparently did we give a rat’s ass about, the life they were leaving, the reasons that would make them flee their homeland, their friends, their families with nothing but the clothes on their backs. We turned them away because they were Jewish, and we sent them back to Europe, and for many of them, we sent them to death. We have much to be ashamed of for that, and yet here we are again, doing the same thing to women and children, wishing them to be blown out of the water. We have no idea what they were told, but for some of them at least we can expect they are victims of many indignities, many crimes. Yes, there could be tamil tigers there, known terrorists, but there are people on that boat. Perhaps the way to get through to the terrorists is to not be afraid of them, of the possibility of them, of just the word ‘terrorist’, but to deal with the possibility they could be on that boat, in your neighbourhood, or damned well anywhere else, and extend the arm of humanity nonetheless, otherwise we stoop to their level of fear-mongering and the breeding of hate.

DATELINE: ON THE ROCKS – A case of scotch whiskey, over 100 years old, has been recovered in New Zealand from the ice of the antarctic. A remnant of Shackleton’s 1907 Nimrod expedition, the eleven bottles of Mackinlay’s dates back to 1896, and appears to be in pristine condition. Unfortunately, none of the eleven bottles will be opened or sampled because of the historical value of the find. Undoubtedly there will be many craving a taste. There are probably not enough oooo’s in smooooooth to describe it.