Friday, January 7, 2011



-- He lived in a tent, in Ohio, in the winter… Ted Williams had fallen on some hard times, had succumbed to drugs and booze, and was left to panhandle on mucky winter streets. That was on Monday. On Tuesday, he had been offered a job, a home, a chance to see is 94yr-old mother in New York, whom he hadn’t seen in twenty years. Do stories get any better than this? Not really… and the most astounding part of this is that it was so easy for someone to make a difference in the man’s life. Doral Chenoweth stopped to talk to Williams, to maybe do a story on him, but it just happens to be in Chenoweth’s nature to stop and talk and offer whatever help he can – a dollar, a blanket, a ride to a shelter, or even just a kind word. It was easy and profound all at the same time. Why is this not the norm? How many people out there could be saved by some simple act of kindness? How many starving children could be helped? How many kids who are turning towards drugs and the accompanying life theft, assault, abuse that goes with it could be helped with just a random act of human kindness? Embrace this story, learn from it, and take a minute from your hectic schedule – the Ted Williams’ of the world are not the only ones who win; the Doral Chenoweth’s also come out on top, because you have to believe that man’s smiling from ear to ear over what his 30-second sound bite did.

DATELINE: SOMEPLACE WHERE PEOPLE LIVE WITH THEIR HEADS UP THEIR ASSES – In complete and total fucking contrast with the first story, we now come to the story of Simone Beck, a 42-year-old woman in Brighton, England. On Christmas Day, she posted on her Facebook page that she had taken all her pills and was going to die. She said ‘bye bye’ to her friends. Like most things that have extreme highs associated with them, the downs are also more extreme – such is the case with Christmas as well, and it can be an incredibly depressing time for many. So, Simone reaches out to those friends she has, posts that she needs help in the most critical way. She was not ignored at all, though; her post received 148 responses… Let me say that again, for those of you not paying attention; Her post received 148 responses, including taunts, teasing, and a discussion about how Simone ‘OD’s all the time and lies’. This is from fucking friends? 148 fucking posts, and yet not one person called her, went to knock on her apartment door, contacted the police or anything else. Not one. It was 17 hours later when Simone’s mother was made aware of the post on Facebook, and called the police. Of course, it was too late by that time. 148 posts! It is just totally fucking unbelievable that NOT ONE PERSON could be bothered to respond in any sort of human way. I understand that for some it might have been overwhelming and they might have not known what to say – so phone the fucking police then! Phone her mother, her neighbor… but fucking phone someone! Hell, Facebook has a site set up so that you can contact someone if you are worried about a post… it would have taken a couple of key strokes to have saved her life, but no, they were too busy looking at a woman standing on the ledge of a fucking 20-storey building and screaming at her to jump just because they wanted to see the splat on the sidewalk. Just one Doral Chenoweth in Simone’s life might have made one hell of a difference. Everyone… absolutely everyone… who posted on Simone Beck’s last status should be totally fucking ashamed of themselves, but I have no doubt they all enjoyed their Christmas dinner just fine, thank you.

DATELINE: ON A DANCEFLOOR, DOING THE RESEARCH SHUFFLE – Like many parents, twelve years ago I listened carefully to the findings of Doctor Andrew Wakefield when he proposed his work made a direct connection between the incidents of Austism and the receiving of MMR booster shots in children. Like many parents, while the news did not cause me to stop getting booster shots for my children, it was more than enough to have me living in guilt for years at the thought of having destroyed my child’s life – yes, I have an autistic child, yes, I would young and desperate for some understanding of why he was autistic and yes, I am absolutely fucking furious as that asshat for what he did to parents and children all over the world. There are few things that piss me off more than people who prey on those who are desperate for help, because the vile depth of their moral abyss not only builds false hope while creating the asshat money, but it also creates huge distrust of the system and anything that might be legitimate information. That said, my anger does not lie with just Wakefield. What the fuck what the Lancet thinking publishing ANY study that was so unsubstantiated, based on a handful of study subjects without anything to substantiate it? We are talking the Lancet here! How much money did they make on that edition alone, as it was scooped up by parents who were desperate to not have their child ‘become’ autistic, or who were consumed by guilt because their child was autistic? They DO have to take some of the responsibility for what happened and the resulting outbreaks of measles and mumps, and the emotional crap they created for the parents of thousands of children. They are a professional medical paper, a reputable one, and they cannot just dump this on Wakefield’s door. Perhaps I should send in my research findings, that a vast number of people in this world are double-jointed and double-faced enough, stricken with the disease of greed, to be able to live with their heads up their own asses. I can surely create the numbers to support a study like that.

DATELINE: BUSTING BASTARD PAROLE BOARD MEMBERS ON BEACON HILL – On December 26th, police officer John ‘Jack' Maguire was shot on duty, responding to a robbery call at a Kohl’s store. Maguire, a 60-year-old husband, father, and veteran police officer was shot by Dominic Cinelli, who also died as a result of the ensuing gun battle. Already this is a tragic story… and it is about to get a whole lot worse. Cinelli was on parole from three… yes, THREE… life sentences, the result of a 9-page list of violent offences. I can here you already asking ‘Parole? This man had parole?’ For starters, Cinelli was not a man, he was a fucking asshole… but not as big as the assholes who voted unanimously for his release. Yes, there was not even one person on that Parole Board who thought there might be some issues releasing this fucking animal back onto the streets. As a result, a bi-partisan group of state senators is heading a push to have the entire parole board investigated and the people responsible for releasing Cinelli relieved of their duties. I will go you one better… they should make it a requirement that anyone who is paroled gets to live next door to a member of the parole board for two years after their release. Perhaps knowing that the assholes will be right there in their faces, beside their families, will make Parole Board members just a little more accountable for their fucking asshat decisions.

DATELINE: ENJOYING MEALS ON WHEELS – There is nothing like the taste of a good old vinyl seat from the back of a 2006 Impala police cruiser! Jesse Ray Stewart, an 18-year old who went on a bit of a spree of breaking into cars in New Port Richey, Florida, while he was pissed out of his mind, chowed down on the seat while being taken into custody. There is a lesson in this, people – stay away from the fucking BC Bud… damn, that crap makes you hungry for just about anything.

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