DAILY NEWS -- JANUARY 6th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – JANUARY 6th, 2010

DATELINE: FIGHTING THE COLD WAR -- Cold War? Give me a fucking break. We are talking about a hockey game… a hockey GAME. Last night, in yet another matchup of the century (because EVERY fucking tournament final game is the matchup of the century) the Canadian Juniors team had their asses handed to them on a platter. Well… maybe not quite, but they did lose the game by allowing five goals in about the last ten minutes of the GAME. Shock of fucking shock! Ohhhh the horror! I have absolutely no doubt the world will stop turning today. The Canadian players were shocked… despite the fact that the Russian team has a bit of a reputation for this sort of win. The Russian players – well, let the slurs fly. They are, overnight, the spawn of Satan, the shunned… they should not be allowed to play, those nefarious little commies. Now, I have never pretended to be a fan of hockey. It is nothing more than a collection of a whole lot of spoiled, over-privileged little shitheads and thugs who believe rules and laws do not apply to them, and who actually believe they are WORTH those obscene salaries they make… for chasing a hunk of rubber around a sheet of ice a couple nights a week. They should be adored! They should be canonized! We should bow and scrape at the blades of the fucking almighty hockey player! They are the high-water mark of all male society in Canada. They have attained the holy grail, and yet… when they don’t win a fucking game, and they receive their silver medals for landing in the second highest spot, some of them actually have the fucking audacity to not put their medals on? What the fuck is that! These spoiled little shits only can be good sportsmen when they win? This is an excuse for absolutely rude, insulting behavior. Those who did not put on the fucking medals should have the medals taken away from them, and not be allowed to play on the team anymore because they are obviously not team players. Get a fucking grip people. It’s HOCKEY. It’s a fucking GAME. No one lives or dies. They lost a game – they didn’t lose their homes in a massive fucking snake-filled Australian flood, they did not have their lives tumble around them, crushing everything but the hope to live in Haiti… they lost a fucking game. Hockey players should be forced to attend a course – Perspective on Fucking Life 101. Last night was a vivid reminder of why I cannot be bothered to watch even one minute of hockey.

DATELINE: WHERE NEVERTHE TWAINS SHALL MEET – That would be the Mark Twains… the original who wrote Huck Finn and the new, improved, politically correct (albeit unknowing and probably unwilling) gentler Mark Twain. Yes, someone has taken it upon himself to change the words of Mark Twain, to make his words unoffensive to the poor, gentle, lame-ass readers of today. If anyone for one moment thought to look into Twain’s personal opinions and actions regarding issues of slavery and racism, they would understand in a heartbeat that the words he chose were used for a reason. Yes, it is ugly, and Twain knew that… he would have been acutely aware of that fact and he probably wanted to make sure that others knew it. But no, because those words he used are not politically correct and not readily accepted in common conversation these days (with good reason) lets rewrite history… let’s pretend that none of those things every happened. Hell, let’s get rid of the words ‘death camp’ and ‘holocaust’ and ‘genocide’ because there is no fucking doubt they are offensive and reflect a time in human history where humanity was not the rule of the day. How about erasing the words ‘revolution’ and ‘war’ because those are fucking downers too, or murder… and perhaps we should get some names out of our lexicon as well, because they were offensive people. There is no value in knowing about Hitler or Saddam Insane or Idi Amin or Pol Pot. I think it might be a good idea to erase some of those fuckin words about churches and religions, because they are certainly becoming bothersome… and a bit of a bore. Let’s pretend none of this shit happened. That will make the world a whole lot better place. Let’s not try to understand what happened, what was wrong with what happened, what those people suffered… yes, they fucking suffered, and it was not about a word, but it was because of all that those words represent. Do I advocate using the words that are being stricken from Twain’s work every day? Hell no. Those and a whole lot more are offensive and ignorant… almost as offensive and ignorant as pretending that they never existed. Leave the fucking books alone. They were written as they were for a reason, and once you start to censor words to make them currently politically correct, you are doing the same thing as if you were to burn them and piss on the writer’s grave.

DATELINE: IN A SICK, SICK WORLD – Four months ago a 16-year-old girl was gang raped in Pitt Meadows, BC at a rave. The girl was drugged and repeatedly, violently raped, and the fucking assholes who committed the crime took pictures of it. Not only did they take pictures of the festivities, they took those pictures and put them on Facebook, in the internet where they went viral. This girl and her family now get to relive the day over and over… because these little pieces of shit, who couldn’t get a piece without having to render a girl totally helpless then steal it, and then had the bravado to post pictures of it. Oh, yes, they are impressive little boys… so much for their parents to be proud of. Now, as two more are charged, one with rape, one with the creation and distribution of child pornography, these little pieces of shit have the balls to say that she ‘wanted it’. Yes, we all just sit around dreaming of the day we can all be gang raped. It’s something that the entire female population strives for. These little shits should be locked away. They should be strip searched and pictures should be taken and posted on the internet for everyone to see for the rest of time. They should be forced to watch video tape of them being strip searched daily… and be forced to watch the ‘hits’ climb as more people look at their pathetic scrawny little asses on the internet… and laugh at their pain. Every time they shit or wank off, that should be fodder for the internet. These boys have destroyed the lives of an entire family all because of their arrogant over-privileged sick fucking lack of control of their own peckers, and THEN they have the fucking gall to blame the girl? There should never be any peace for these boys for the rest of their lives.