DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 17th, 2011

DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 17th, 2011

DATELINE: SCRATCHING ‘NOT’ NOTES WHERE THEY OUGHT NOT TO BE – As the opposition parties in Canada’s Parliament increase their demands for some action, Prime Minister Harper still has his head firmly implanted up his ass. That, I know, is nothing new. This time, however, he is totally refusing to acknowledge the fact that his Minister for International Co-Operation, Bev Oda, significantly altered the content of a report. Whether or not she has the right to approve or deny funding for groups is not the fucking issue, Comrade Harper; Yes, she has the right and the obligation to make those decisions that fall within the purview of her portfolio. No one is arguing that. What they are arguing is that a document was created and submitted, and she inserts the word ‘Not’ within the text, after signatures have been applied to the document, without the proper signatures that would indicate the change was acknowledged and agreed to by the parties that had signed the documents. Sorry, but in the rest of this fucking country, that is not particularly cricket. She has effectively falsified a document, and she has to be held to account for that. She has destroyed whatever tatters of trust may have existed in her and her credibility. Two months ago, she denied any knowledge of the altering of the document, another lie to the people who pay her fucking wages. Harper, you fucking arrogant jackass, quite hiding behind her right to make the decision regarding funding, and deal with the real issue, the real legalities of the issue of her changing a document. The longer you spend being obtuse about what everyone else in the whole fucking country knows is the issue, the more arrogant and asshatted you look, and believe me, that is quite the fucking accomplishment.

DATELINE: INSIDE THE PETRIE DISH – That is what the Playboy Mansion has to feel like now! Well, it probably always was. I can just imagine if the CSI stars had to walk in there with their funky black lights and glasses looking for evidence. Ewww. After 200 people have become ill after attending a party there though, Los Angeles Country’s Department of Public Health believes there is a connection to the respiratory infection outbreak they are currently experiencing… well, they call it a conference, but come on, it was the fucking playboy mansion. Saying they were attending a conference there is like saying guys buy the magazines to read the fucking articles.

DATELINE: COMING IN ON A WING IN A LAIR – Thanks to the efforts and generosity of game-show host Bob Barker, 25 lions were rescued and flown to Denver International Airport, enroute to their new home at the Wildlife Sanctuary in Keenesburg, Colorado. These poor cats were rescued from deplorable conditions where many of them suffered from dehydration and infections. They were animals used in a circus in Bolivia until a recent law was passed preventing the use of animals in performances. It is a small start, but it’s a start in the efforts to free animals from horrible, criminal conditions, such as what these animals were exposed. Where the hell do we get off capturing these animals and treating them like shit, like inanimate props to be beaten, starved and neglected while still raking in the money they bring because of their inherent beauty and majesty? Of course, we treat too many people the same way, so I guess there is a lot of fucking room for improvement.

DATELINE: ONE TOKEN OVER THE LINE – US President Barack Obama today proposed to slap Canadians with a $5.50 fee for every visitor who travels south by air or by sea. This raping would be called a ‘Passenger Inspection Fee’ and Canada has been exempt from having to pay any of these fees for many years. I am not sure how the hell this falls in line with the Free Trade Agreement, but then again, that piece of paper has been bastardized so many times already, it really doesn’t matter. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, another $5.50 isn’t such a big deal… although for a family of four or five it does start to add up, especially when all the other costs of air travel are considered. Right now, when I purchase an airline ticket, the cost of the taxes and surcharges already are more than the damned plane ticket themselves, so what the fuck; go ahead and add one more expense to us when we want to go down there and spend money like fucking idiots. It’s nice to think, though, that we are viewed as part of the solution to the clusterfuck economy down there. Thanks so much, Barack… we love you too.