Monday, February 7, 2011



– It’s a pretty damned sad situation when even I have to acknowledge that the best part of the Superbowl game was the damned game. What the fuck happened to the commercials? Where were the Budweiser horses? Where were the woodchucks and the bayou frogs and all the great shit? The commercials sucked! It was a damned good thing Green Bay managed some awesome plays, things like interceptions and fumble recoveries they made count. Now if they would just get rid of those gross disgusting uber-unsexy yellow fucking pants!

DATELINE: CROSSING THE CHASM BETWEEN SORROW AND RAGE – Every Canadian should be doing this right now, as well as mourning the death of Nodar Kumaritashvili anew. On February 12th, 2010, while doing a practice run for his upcoming Olympic event, the Georgian luger died when his sled went out of control. The organizers of the Vancouver Olympics stated categorically they had no reason ever to be concerned about the track, and this was just a tragic event that can happen in sports. However, documents obtained through Access of Information applications shows a totally different story. A year before the opening of the Olympic games, and before Kumaritashvili’s death, the International Luge Federation committed to paper their concerns about the track. VANOC officials then committed their internal acknowledgements to paper. “There is nothing to do on our side but it does put in writing concerns about the speeds of the track if there was ever an accident,” wrote Tim Gayda, managing director of sport for VANOC. John Furlong, CEO of VANOC, takes it one step further. “(E)mbedded in this note (cryptic as it may be) is a warning that the track is in their view too fast and someone could get badly hurt. An athlete gets badly injured or worse and I think the case could be made we were warned and did nothing.” The case COULD be made? What the fuck is the matter with you people! The warnings from the International Luge Federation go back much further – to March 2005 in fact – stating that there were some major problems with the design of the track and specifically pointing out the need for specific changes to six of the curves on the track, including the curves that resulted in Kumaritashvili’s death. VANOC of course argues that the International Bobsleigh and Tobogganing Federation argued there was no need to changes, and indications so far are that changes were made to only two of the curves, but not all six and not the ones where Kumaritashvili died. It is to be hoped that someone learns a fucking lesson from this... for the purposes of the lugers, this track was not safe, their international organization knew it, VANOC knew it, Furlong knew it. It is to be hoped that at least some Criminal Negligence Causing Death charges are forthcoming, and that the Georgia team and Nodar Kumaritashvili’s family is properly informed of the culpability of the fucking VANOC organization. If ever there was a day to be ashamed, this was it. Nodar Kumaritashvili was 21.

DATELINE: IN THE FRAT HOUSE, BEHAVING BADLY -- When the hell did it become okay for us to settle our differences by pulling out a gun? Seriously, have we become so fucking self-centered that when we behave like asses and are asked to leave a party or an event, that gives us the right to come back and shoot people? I thought we were a fucking civilized society, but once again I have been proven wrong. This weekend, two men were angry about something that happened at a frat house party in Youngstown, Ohio, so they left, returned a little while later, and opened up on the people in the house, shooting 11, killing 1. The boy who was killed, Jamail E Johnson, had stepped into the fray to try and separate the warring factions. So much for gallantry, I guess. He was shot once in the head and ‘multiple times’ in the hips and legs’. Johnson was involved in a fraternity program that emphasized manhood and scholarship. The two little puissant asshole brats who shot him apparently were lacking in the manhood department. There is still a 17-year-old in critical condition who was shot in the head, and two others are still in hospital suffering from wounds to the abdomen.

DATELINE: MOURNING CHIVALRY – Jordan Morrison is dead. The 19-year-old boy from Ontario was beaten to death while in the Dominican Republic. Why? Because while he was at a disco with a female friend, he took objection to another man spitting on her. I have no idea why the man spit on Morrison’s companion, but it really doesn’t matter a tinker’s damn. There is no reason for a man to spit on a woman, but one can assume that the man was a bit of an arrogant ignorant prick, so that might explain a lot. Morrison pushed the man away from his girl, injected himself between them, some shouting followed and then things settled down as things tend to do. However, in this age of absolute entitlement and encouragement of assholedness, when the club closed, Morrison was confronted outside, pushed to the ground and beaten... to death. What the fuck was his crime? He asked a man to grow up and act like a fucking man? He wasn’t going to allow his woman to be treated like crap and stood up to assholes. Included in the mob that killed him were two Canadians who, again, have not been named for the media, but they are 21 and 27 years old and will be facing prosecution in the Dominican Republic. It is hoped that the two sons of bitches never see the light of day again.

DATELINE: ON MY KNEES, THANKING GOD HE IS NO LONGER IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY AND THAT GEORGE BUSH NEVER DIED IN OFFICE – Could you imagine it? Dick Cheney really calling the shots for the most powerful country in the world? Take a minute to think about that, and remember it when it comes time to vote again – the running mate can matter, and should be a consideration. This weekend, Cheney proved again that his judgment is up his ass, very very far up his ass, when he said, while speaking of Hosni Mubarak ‘He’s been a good man, a good friend and ally to the United States.’ Well, yes, he might have been a good friend... out of necessity... but seriously? A good man? At some point we have to recognize that in the political game, in order to survive, it is sometimes necessary to make deals with the devil. Who trained and armed Osama Bin Laden? Who helped Saddam Hussein (or, in this household as he is so lovingly named, SoDamn Insane) rise to power so he could help political interests in the developing world? The list is long... very long... of devils that are involved in deals. That shit happens; sometimes it has to, but please, is it fucking necessary to then turn around and call him a ‘good man’? He was a fucking despot ruler, kept his people poor and starving. Why the hell else do you think they are revolting and demanding he was gone? You think they are doing that because he was a ‘good friend’ and a ‘good man’? Give me a fucking break. Cheney, you are out of office so please keep your stupid fucking comments to yourself. I just got over the years of nightmares knowing you could have, but for the grace of God, been at the helm; don’t make the nightmares start again.

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