DAILY NEWS -- FEBRUARY 1st, 2011

DAILY NEWS -- FEBRUARY 1st, 2011


DATELINE: FROM BEHIND THE MAPLE CURTAIN – Each day, we get fucked just a little bit more by our government and government organizations, thanks to the wonderful Comrade Harper and his gang of schoolyard thugs. Of course, there is credit to share in the great clusterfuck that is becoming this country… if we had ANY opposition that was prepared to raise the level of dialogue in politics, who was prepared to make a fucking statement and stick by it, who was able to identify even ONE issue that would be an election issue and attempt to own the day, we might be better off. Instead, we are left to the whims of the CBC, who God forbid will give coverage to anything that might put Harper’s fucking troll toes to the fire. The latest development – in the interests of putting Canada right back into the fucking stone age, the CRTC ( you remember them? The ones who just two weeks ago dabbled their toes in the great idea of censoring the song Dire Straits based on ONE fucking complaint they received ) have now decided it will be okay for the two big internet providers up here to implement usage-based billing and usage caps on the internet. Some estimates say that it could increase the monthly costs of using the internet five times from what it is now, while reducing our access. The fun thing about this is that in very many parts of Canada, we have no fucking choice in what we get for internet up here… for many, there is one provider and one alone. That provider, BTW, is the same provider who brings telephones and television into our homes – which is the real reason for the change. Competition is something frowned on in Canada, especially where utilities and the ability to fuck over the home owners are concerned. So, instead of insisting that Bell and Rogers learn to compete for service like everyone else in the world, the CRTC decided in a ruling that was kept incredibly quiet until it was passed, that the competition can be squashed for the sake of these two big asshole companies. For the many millions of us who are remotely located, who for the last few years have learned about getting an education, doing business, purchasing necessities that are unavailable in the boonies by any other means, we now will learn to live without those abilities again. Bell and Rogers claim the changes are necessary to get Canadians to use the internet less… read that as stopping us from downloading from other sources that don’t pay a kickback to Rogers or Bell. What better way to ensure that we get our movies from ONLY them, our television programming from ONLY them. You use Skype? Pfffft, no, not any more, as of March 1st, because that was taking away from the money Bell made on their fucking ridiculous phone services. They have no need to compete, because they will just have the CRTC kiss their fucking asses, and we can sit back and watch while our local news services (CBC) don’t even mention the changes… oh yeah, because they are also regulated through the government and the CRTC, so we should perhaps have what we need to know filtered… God forbid they actually report anything that Harper does. We should accept that the CBC allows Harper to set the agenda both for our new and for what will be allowed as a fucking election issue. It will be much easier to control what information we have access to, what news we can see and what spin they put on it, if we are not allowed access to websites from around the world. Communication is the bane of all communist rulers. Of course their decisions will be enforced by those megalomaniacal assholes in red serge, that organization who we all KNOW cares not a flying fuck about our rights because they have tazers and big boots and are not afraid to use them. Sorry, but if this is the direction that Canadians want to take, then the sooner we become the fucking fifty-first star, the better. At least down there we would have a fucking voice. Mind you, in twenty-eight days what will it fucking matter, because all of us here, behind the fucking maple curtain, will have been rendered completely voiceless.

DATELINE: IN A OLYMPIC-SIZED RAGE – for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics, the powers-that-be decided it would be a good idea to bring in dog sleds for the visitors to experience something truly Canadian. It was great, while there were millions of visitors to the country and lots of snow on the ground… but both, shockingly, left. So, what do you do with all those sled dogs when there are no sleds to pull and no snow to pull them through? You send your employees out with guns and have them shoot them, of course. At least, that’s what Outdoor Adventures Whistler did… well, they claim they were aware the dogs were to be euthanized… ‘in a proper, legal and humane manner.’ What a load of fucking horse crap! They are trying to dump this on the employees, claiming no responsibility for themselves, yet they were the ones who ordered that 100 young, healthy, beautiful working dogs be executed for the company’s mismanagement. How did we learn about this? About the dogs that had to be shot several times, that ran around with half their faces shot off while the employees tried to get a kill shot in on a frantic moving relatively small animal and about the mass grave, and about the animals that were tossed into the grave, believed dead, but only to start climbing back out again in an attempt to save their lives? One of the employees was so traumatized by the assignment handed to him by his employer that he had to file a Workers Compensation Claim for PTSD, and that was turned over to police for investigation. Outdoor Adventures Whistler said they have already paid compensation for the PTSD – but then how the hell can they now claim they had no idea of how the dogs were disposed of if that was the case? And if there was compensation paid because of this, that means the company was already involved in an investigation and the issue of culpability has been address, because otherwise there would have been no need for compensation, so how then could they now blame their employee? However, they have now implemented a new company policy that requires dogs to be destroyed in a vet clinic… whoop de fucking dooo. The company, and its principals, should not be allowed anywhere near another living animal again.

DATELINE: ON THE HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE – Perhaps that should be the dangerously ridiculous zone? Once again, while reporting news regarding China’s air force, China Central Television substituted footage from the movie Top Gun for the real shit that was happening. They claimed it was footage of a live-fire exercise, reported with great pride that all targets had been hit… they just neglected to add that it had been Maverick and Goose doing the shooting. Apparently this is common practice though, with the Chinese television station, although it is uncommon for them to pay the copyright royalties for the use of the footage. Fuck, I bet Jean Cretien is kicking his ass for not thinking of this… and now that the news is out, I suspect this is something that Steven Harper, the CBC and the CRTC will embrace lovingly!