DAILY NEWS – February 22, 2011

DAILY NEWS – February 22, 2011

DATELINE: SOON TO BE AT THE END OF HIS ROPE (HOPEFULLY) – It can’t be long now before that asshole Dick Cheney comes on television to remind us what a great guy and loyal friend Moammar has been… at least to Halliburton. How the hell can anyone say otherwise about Gadhafi? Last week, the Libyan leader urged Palestinians to follow the model set by Egypt and rise in protest against oppression and government abuse. Hmmm, bet he would love to fucking take those words back, now that his own people have also taken this advice. God forbid they want a better life than what they were offered under Gadhafi Duck. The ‘flaky’ ‘mad dog of the Middle East’ (love him or hate, old Rocket Ronnie had a way with a phrase) has responded by having his fighter planes and helicopters open up on the people gathered to kick his ass out of Tripoli. He has his military charge in and beat and shoot people, he cuts off all communication for his people and disallows media to enter the country. Someone needs to take care of this fucking asshole – perhaps some wonderful hollow points headed in his direction rather than at protestors might give him some perspective. He has given new meaning to fucking nuts, and his people and countless others have suffered because of him. In his hour-long babblefest, he accused the protestors of being on drugs and working for the devil, he stated, in the third person, no less, that Moammar Gadhafi cannot step down because he is not a government leader but rather the leader of a revolution… funny how many times he can change his title, his form of government and his mind in a few seconds. He said he would not resort to violence, then called on the people of Libya who supported him to go and kill the protestors where they sleep, then screamed that he would fight to the death. I think someone should fucking accommodate him in that wish, and soon, because a future of incredible violence awaits masses of people as long as he is there. He is a war criminal, he has committed unspeakable crimes against humanity… and any other leader (this would be that other nucking fut-case Chavez) who aids or harbors him should face the same damned charges. Perhaps some pressure from the developed world (other than idiot-face lame ass Harper) could help to shut him down? Of course, with the oil they have there (they are the eighth largest producer in the world), no one wants to shit in that nest.

DATELINE: ON PARLIAMENT HILL HAVING ANOTHER ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ MOMENT – Last week we heard how Bev Oda had changes the entire meaning and content of a signed report with the addition of one word… ‘NOT’… after the fact, then using that document as the basis of a decision regarding funding. The people who had signed the report were not aware of the change to their text, did not sign or initial the change, were not consulted about the change. No matter how you look at it, she illegally altered legal, signed documents. That’s the bottom fucking line. (NOTE TO JACK LAYTON: She did not forge anything… she falsified, she altered, but she did not forge. If you want to make a legal fucking argument in a legislative chamber at least please get the word right). On Friday, the Harper government conceded that perhaps the decision and the subsequent cover-up were not ‘a work of art’. What the fuck is that?? Someone needs to do some major ass-kicking to that arrogant supercilious fucking government. Someone also needs to kick some opposition ass as well, because even though Parliament is not sitting… why the hell not take off the whole week when just the Monday is a fuckin holiday… they should be in the media taking this and the other issues with this government to task. They should be doing this every fucking day, not for an hour one week, then letting the issues go. Do your fucking job, people! What the fuck are you being paid for?

DATELINE: AIN’T THAT A KICK IN THE HEAD – Yesterday, RCMP Assistant Commissioner Peter Hourihan went to talk to Buddy Tavares. You remember Buddy Tavares, the guy who took an RCMP boot to the face while he was kneeling on the ground? You remember watching that nice video footage of Constable Geoff Mantler walking up to Tavares and letting fly with a kick that lifted Buddy right off the ground, that broke teeth and caused a concussion? Oh, and remember that they put Buddy in cells for the weekend on some bullshit trumped –up charges about domestic violence and careless use of a firearm? Yeah, the Crown Prosecutor announced yesterday that those charges would be stayed because of a lack of evidence. Now there is one hell of a shocking development.* The Assistant Commission took the opportunity to officially apologize to Buddy Tavares… well whoop-de-fucking-do! He did not mention compensation, and God knows that we have heard nothing about the charges that should and must be laid against Mantler. I have to say, I am so god damned fucking tired of politicians and police fucking the dog long enough that we lose track of the shit they don’t account for. We need to start holding these overpaid over-privileged assholes to account, and we have to start doing it now.




(*that was done in sarcastic font, in case you didn’t catch it*)

DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 17th, 2011

DAILY NEWS – FEBRUARY 17th, 2011

DATELINE: SCRATCHING ‘NOT’ NOTES WHERE THEY OUGHT NOT TO BE – As the opposition parties in Canada’s Parliament increase their demands for some action, Prime Minister Harper still has his head firmly implanted up his ass. That, I know, is nothing new. This time, however, he is totally refusing to acknowledge the fact that his Minister for International Co-Operation, Bev Oda, significantly altered the content of a report. Whether or not she has the right to approve or deny funding for groups is not the fucking issue, Comrade Harper; Yes, she has the right and the obligation to make those decisions that fall within the purview of her portfolio. No one is arguing that. What they are arguing is that a document was created and submitted, and she inserts the word ‘Not’ within the text, after signatures have been applied to the document, without the proper signatures that would indicate the change was acknowledged and agreed to by the parties that had signed the documents. Sorry, but in the rest of this fucking country, that is not particularly cricket. She has effectively falsified a document, and she has to be held to account for that. She has destroyed whatever tatters of trust may have existed in her and her credibility. Two months ago, she denied any knowledge of the altering of the document, another lie to the people who pay her fucking wages. Harper, you fucking arrogant jackass, quite hiding behind her right to make the decision regarding funding, and deal with the real issue, the real legalities of the issue of her changing a document. The longer you spend being obtuse about what everyone else in the whole fucking country knows is the issue, the more arrogant and asshatted you look, and believe me, that is quite the fucking accomplishment.

DATELINE: INSIDE THE PETRIE DISH – That is what the Playboy Mansion has to feel like now! Well, it probably always was. I can just imagine if the CSI stars had to walk in there with their funky black lights and glasses looking for evidence. Ewww. After 200 people have become ill after attending a party there though, Los Angeles Country’s Department of Public Health believes there is a connection to the respiratory infection outbreak they are currently experiencing… well, they call it a conference, but come on, it was the fucking playboy mansion. Saying they were attending a conference there is like saying guys buy the magazines to read the fucking articles.

DATELINE: COMING IN ON A WING IN A LAIR – Thanks to the efforts and generosity of game-show host Bob Barker, 25 lions were rescued and flown to Denver International Airport, enroute to their new home at the Wildlife Sanctuary in Keenesburg, Colorado. These poor cats were rescued from deplorable conditions where many of them suffered from dehydration and infections. They were animals used in a circus in Bolivia until a recent law was passed preventing the use of animals in performances. It is a small start, but it’s a start in the efforts to free animals from horrible, criminal conditions, such as what these animals were exposed. Where the hell do we get off capturing these animals and treating them like shit, like inanimate props to be beaten, starved and neglected while still raking in the money they bring because of their inherent beauty and majesty? Of course, we treat too many people the same way, so I guess there is a lot of fucking room for improvement.

DATELINE: ONE TOKEN OVER THE LINE – US President Barack Obama today proposed to slap Canadians with a $5.50 fee for every visitor who travels south by air or by sea. This raping would be called a ‘Passenger Inspection Fee’ and Canada has been exempt from having to pay any of these fees for many years. I am not sure how the hell this falls in line with the Free Trade Agreement, but then again, that piece of paper has been bastardized so many times already, it really doesn’t matter. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, another $5.50 isn’t such a big deal… although for a family of four or five it does start to add up, especially when all the other costs of air travel are considered. Right now, when I purchase an airline ticket, the cost of the taxes and surcharges already are more than the damned plane ticket themselves, so what the fuck; go ahead and add one more expense to us when we want to go down there and spend money like fucking idiots. It’s nice to think, though, that we are viewed as part of the solution to the clusterfuck economy down there. Thanks so much, Barack… we love you too.