So, it’s come to this: comedian Stephen Colbert coyly almost announcing his candidacy for the GOP South Carolina primary. What a sad fucking day – but not for the reasons you think.
How did this almost soon-to-be maybe announcement come about? Because five percent of people in South Carolina who were asked about their choices in the primary indicated to pollsters they would vote for Stephen Colbert – so why shouldn’t he throw his hat into the ring. Anyone else would. The sad part of this is that it shows, without doubt, the mockery that the political system has become. It shows the frustration of the electorate, and it shows (no offense, Stephen) that any ass is a welcome part of that system. It shows that too many people don’t take some very serious situations seriously at all.
Yes, Colbert and Stewart have brought attention to the stupidity of the system and the people who are part of it. They have, in essence,proven the hypothesis that politicians take care of themselves first, last and always. Their experiment has removed any doubt that the system now is so corrupt it is virtually impossible to take it seriously. That whole PAC crap about advertising money and the candidate having nothing to do with it? Oh please, there is NO ONE who doesn’t know that Gingrinch and Romney have everything to do with them… because that is the way governments now work. They don’t worry about morals or ethics anymore, especially when it comes to getting a chance to sit behind that fucking fancy desk in the Oval Office. These guys would even eat their young, for fuck sake, if it meant one more vote in a swing state.
‘But Bambi, you’re a Canadian. Why do you give a shit anyways?’ Good question. There are several reasons. The first is that whatever the most powerful country in the world does, it has an impact on every other country, and the closer you are to the US, the more it affects you. The second is that, we are really really close neighbors, and when your asshole leader lets his ego gets in the way, and the bombs start falling, we are right in the middle of the firing range, much to close for comfort. The third is that,whether right or wrong, we are sort of like the US’s adoring little brother,looking up to him, following his lead, emulating what he does… and I do NOT want Canada to be like that ever (although already, as kids are wont to do as they age, we are quickly catching up and becoming more and more like you every day). The fourth reason is because we have to watch all of your political bullshit and ads every time we turn on our fucking sets, and you know, you guys are in Perpetual Election Mode down there now. The minute the votes are counted, you are off and running again, making sure that you win the next one four years later. You are so fucking busy running for election that you have no time or interest in actually running the country.
The even sadder part of this is that you have an incredible system offered to you by some incredibly smart people, who were not looking to line their pockets and have unmitigated power and authority over the whole land. Those people were more concerned about freedom, equality, creating a land where EVERYONE had a chance to live their dreams (not just the top 1%). Once that plan was in place, a plan that the rest of the world looked at in awe and wondered if they should ever dare to dream of some plan for their own countries that offered the same great gifts, it became time to fight for it, and fight they did. They all put their lives on the line, and men and women have been proudly doing the same ever since. They never looked for a fucking loophole to garner them more favor and give them one more vote over the other guy; they were too busy crouching in fox holes under barrages of artillery fire, and watching, horrified, while their buddies had their arms, legs, heads blown off.
I hear people saying there is no point in voting, what difference does it make? They are all corrupt, they lie to get into office. I am not arguing any of that. What I am arguing is that apathy is the most powerful weapon in these candidates arsenal. By not voting, we allow them to do what they want. By not voting, we say it’s okay to do what they are doing. Yes, the system needs change, and it needs it right now, but the system is not going to change it, and the politicians are not going to change it. The people are the ones to do that. You don’t have to don a uniform, pick up a gun and crouch in a fox hole while shitting your pants in fear; but you do have to stand up and be counted, and really, that’s not a lot to ask, is it? You want to see changes, hold these assholes accountable. There isn’t a candidate that wholly appeals to you? Then find one, and ask them to run. There are a lot of smart,honest, principled, hard-working people out there – so find one. If you have to ‘settle’ on a candidate, then when he is elected, hold him to account, write letters, and make a stand. If you are asked to make a political contribution, say no because you don’t like the tactics. You don’t want someone to buy their way into the White House, then don’t give them money – which means don’t give the money to those companies who do support them. If you know that someone is sponsoring a crooked candidate, contact them and say you won’t purchase their crap anymore. Tired of the mudslinging bullshit ads? Phone the television stations and say ‘Enough! I am changing the channel because this is bullshit.’ If the 40% of the population who does not vote did these things, did something more than bitch from their armchair, the system would change. It would be held to account, and it would be because you stood up. Until then, I guess we sit back and watch more people make a mockery of a system that is already sadly, dangerously not more than a daily joke.
So, Colbert MIGHT run. I am not going out on a limb to say that his ideas could not be any more dumbass than the ones being floated by the 'traditional' candidates, his past could not be more smarmy than theirs, he could never be even close to them on the hypocrisy chart, so maybe this is a blessing. Maybe he is meant to be 'the chosen one', Anderson Cooper and his Ridiculist be damned! If Colbert manages to sweep the Carolinas and goes on to take Washington, though, it’s to be hoped that Jon Stewart could be his vice president, and become the first VPOTUS to have his face on paper money. If I had dollar bills with Jon Stewart’s face on them, I would save those puppies, glue them up on the bedroom ceiling, and have a couple in my hip pocket just to take out and lick throughout the day, then lovingly slide them back where they belong. It would create a whole new, much more palatable economic crisis.
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