DAILY NEWS -- FEBRUARY 1st, 2011

DAILY NEWS -- FEBRUARY 1st, 2011


DATELINE: FROM BEHIND THE MAPLE CURTAIN – Each day, we get fucked just a little bit more by our government and government organizations, thanks to the wonderful Comrade Harper and his gang of schoolyard thugs. Of course, there is credit to share in the great clusterfuck that is becoming this country… if we had ANY opposition that was prepared to raise the level of dialogue in politics, who was prepared to make a fucking statement and stick by it, who was able to identify even ONE issue that would be an election issue and attempt to own the day, we might be better off. Instead, we are left to the whims of the CBC, who God forbid will give coverage to anything that might put Harper’s fucking troll toes to the fire. The latest development – in the interests of putting Canada right back into the fucking stone age, the CRTC ( you remember them? The ones who just two weeks ago dabbled their toes in the great idea of censoring the song Dire Straits based on ONE fucking complaint they received ) have now decided it will be okay for the two big internet providers up here to implement usage-based billing and usage caps on the internet. Some estimates say that it could increase the monthly costs of using the internet five times from what it is now, while reducing our access. The fun thing about this is that in very many parts of Canada, we have no fucking choice in what we get for internet up here… for many, there is one provider and one alone. That provider, BTW, is the same provider who brings telephones and television into our homes – which is the real reason for the change. Competition is something frowned on in Canada, especially where utilities and the ability to fuck over the home owners are concerned. So, instead of insisting that Bell and Rogers learn to compete for service like everyone else in the world, the CRTC decided in a ruling that was kept incredibly quiet until it was passed, that the competition can be squashed for the sake of these two big asshole companies. For the many millions of us who are remotely located, who for the last few years have learned about getting an education, doing business, purchasing necessities that are unavailable in the boonies by any other means, we now will learn to live without those abilities again. Bell and Rogers claim the changes are necessary to get Canadians to use the internet less… read that as stopping us from downloading from other sources that don’t pay a kickback to Rogers or Bell. What better way to ensure that we get our movies from ONLY them, our television programming from ONLY them. You use Skype? Pfffft, no, not any more, as of March 1st, because that was taking away from the money Bell made on their fucking ridiculous phone services. They have no need to compete, because they will just have the CRTC kiss their fucking asses, and we can sit back and watch while our local news services (CBC) don’t even mention the changes… oh yeah, because they are also regulated through the government and the CRTC, so we should perhaps have what we need to know filtered… God forbid they actually report anything that Harper does. We should accept that the CBC allows Harper to set the agenda both for our new and for what will be allowed as a fucking election issue. It will be much easier to control what information we have access to, what news we can see and what spin they put on it, if we are not allowed access to websites from around the world. Communication is the bane of all communist rulers. Of course their decisions will be enforced by those megalomaniacal assholes in red serge, that organization who we all KNOW cares not a flying fuck about our rights because they have tazers and big boots and are not afraid to use them. Sorry, but if this is the direction that Canadians want to take, then the sooner we become the fucking fifty-first star, the better. At least down there we would have a fucking voice. Mind you, in twenty-eight days what will it fucking matter, because all of us here, behind the fucking maple curtain, will have been rendered completely voiceless.

DATELINE: IN A OLYMPIC-SIZED RAGE – for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics, the powers-that-be decided it would be a good idea to bring in dog sleds for the visitors to experience something truly Canadian. It was great, while there were millions of visitors to the country and lots of snow on the ground… but both, shockingly, left. So, what do you do with all those sled dogs when there are no sleds to pull and no snow to pull them through? You send your employees out with guns and have them shoot them, of course. At least, that’s what Outdoor Adventures Whistler did… well, they claim they were aware the dogs were to be euthanized… ‘in a proper, legal and humane manner.’ What a load of fucking horse crap! They are trying to dump this on the employees, claiming no responsibility for themselves, yet they were the ones who ordered that 100 young, healthy, beautiful working dogs be executed for the company’s mismanagement. How did we learn about this? About the dogs that had to be shot several times, that ran around with half their faces shot off while the employees tried to get a kill shot in on a frantic moving relatively small animal and about the mass grave, and about the animals that were tossed into the grave, believed dead, but only to start climbing back out again in an attempt to save their lives? One of the employees was so traumatized by the assignment handed to him by his employer that he had to file a Workers Compensation Claim for PTSD, and that was turned over to police for investigation. Outdoor Adventures Whistler said they have already paid compensation for the PTSD – but then how the hell can they now claim they had no idea of how the dogs were disposed of if that was the case? And if there was compensation paid because of this, that means the company was already involved in an investigation and the issue of culpability has been address, because otherwise there would have been no need for compensation, so how then could they now blame their employee? However, they have now implemented a new company policy that requires dogs to be destroyed in a vet clinic… whoop de fucking dooo. The company, and its principals, should not be allowed anywhere near another living animal again.

DATELINE: ON THE HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE – Perhaps that should be the dangerously ridiculous zone? Once again, while reporting news regarding China’s air force, China Central Television substituted footage from the movie Top Gun for the real shit that was happening. They claimed it was footage of a live-fire exercise, reported with great pride that all targets had been hit… they just neglected to add that it had been Maverick and Goose doing the shooting. Apparently this is common practice though, with the Chinese television station, although it is uncommon for them to pay the copyright royalties for the use of the footage. Fuck, I bet Jean Cretien is kicking his ass for not thinking of this… and now that the news is out, I suspect this is something that Steven Harper, the CBC and the CRTC will embrace lovingly!

DAILY NEWS – JANUARY 13th, 2011

DAILY NEWS – JANUARY 13th, 2011

DATELINE: IN HAITI, SEARCHING FOR THE FIVE PERCENT – That would be the five percent of the rubble that has been cleared away in the last year. Yes, despite the millions of dollars, after one year this is all that has been done. Food, education, medical attention, sanitation facilities… all is in short supply despite the work of volunteers and NGOs. There are still people dying of cholera, there are still more than a million people living in tents, there are now major problems with the women in these tents being repeatedly raped at night because they have no security, no doors, no nothing. Perhaps now it is time for a new mindset in order to get the country back on its feet? Perhaps it is time not for donations but for investment… investment that means continued interest and long-term involvement, investment that comes with commitment. It is pretty obvious that just holding telethons and mailing cheques is not enough. With the majority of the population there under the age of 25, there is a need to invest in education for them. There is a need to invest in medical care for the people, in sustainable hospitals and programs that will help the people. There is a need to invest in infrastructure that will move the country out of the rubble and into some hope for the future. Perhaps the answer is to start in the areas outside the capital, where there is less rubble because the people who lived there had virtually nothing. The simple fact of the matter is that more has to be done and it has to be done quickly, because if status quo is the best we can do, those people will never get out of tents, because they will never have jobs to go to or have schools to attend. The job is overwhelming, and people with nothing cannot be expected to overcome. The donations gathered in the days after the earthquake showed that we have compassion and we believe in the ability of the country to rise above the ashes. So far, what we have done is tantamount to sending a state of the art bicycle to a man with no legs. Now we need to help him build some legs so he can stand, run and can ride the damned bike.

DATELINE: IN A ROOM FULL OF IDIOTS AND ERASERS -- First it was someone taking an eraser to Mark Twain’s work. Now, we’re going to do the same to songs? A quarter of a century ago, Dire Straits released their song Money For Nothing. For twenty-five years this song has been fine until… *cue ominous music* … it was played on a radio station in Canada and a caller phoned it to complain that it contains a ‘homophobic slur’. In their *insert sarcastic font* ‘always-present infinite wisdom’, the CRTC has decided that yes, it does contain tha slur, and even if the language would have been relatively commonplace when the song was released, it no longer is and so, before the song can be played on Canadian airwaves or sold in Canadian stores, it must be revised to remove that one particular word. Don’t think for one minute that I advocate the use of these vile words, because they really have no place in a civilized respectful lexicon, but they were commonly used words at the time of their writing and are, therefore part of history, and history should never be erased. They are also words that have strong meaning and impact because of the emotions they evoke. Our current-day musical fare offers over 85 songs by current artists who absolutely fucking love using these words. Kanye West, Twista, Diddy, LL Cool J all have songs with that 'Mark Twain' word in them, and it seems that Mobb Deep, Nelly, Onyx, Lil Wayne, E40, Spice 1…. The list goes on and on of those who can’t seem to perform a song that doesn’t contain that word, so what the fuck is the deal? And if we are going to start erasing two offensive words, how about those songs that refer to women as hoes and bitches, that advocate rape and domestic violence? How about we just totally erase Eminem completely (just the mention of his name makes me want to puke) and everything he ever wrote, or at the very least break his hand and cut his vocal cords, because there is nothing that comes out of that mouth that is not intensely offensive? The works of Mark Twain are being bastardized to ‘tone them down’, to make them more accessible to modern readers? Give me a fucking break. Yes, I am offended by some of those songs, incredibly offended by several of them, and I do believe they leap over the bounds of good taste and moral precepts, and I don’t believe they propel society in a positive direction, but it is music and literature, and in no way is it necessary in my life to have to listen to them or read them if I don’t want to. If the word offends you, either pull on some big girl panties and listen to the artists message or close the fucking book/ shut off the radio/ don't buy the damned book, but don’t censor the damned work, because that opens up the door to the re-writing and white-washing of everything about us, which is nothing more than lying about who we are, where we come from, and the mistakes we have made, and that is never a good thing.

DATELINE: JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE HEARD IT ALL – Sarah Palin opens her mouth, and out spews a whole new degree of insensitivity and stupidity. I guess it was foolish to think she would take the high road, acknowledge that there is something to be said for ‘rational, civilized, non-hyperbolic’ debate that people might actually listen to, that might actually impact those who are trying to determine their political bent. It was naïve of me to think she could just say yes, it was a tragedy, and yes, there is a need to reflect on the political climate of the day in all political and journalistic camps. No, she had to join the ranks of those other nimnos – the ones who protest too much, who spend every day dipping the beaks into that vitriolic well because they just are not capable of reasonable, rational, civilized debate. Nowhere have I read or heard that she is ‘the cause’ of what happened in Arizona. She is, however, a prime example of the shouting, screaming, hatred, and intolerance that we see in the political arena, especially as she makes her always-handy rifle references and strikes yet another pose with a shotgun on her shoulder. She has helped to notch up the rhetoric… a lot… taking it far beyond debate and discussion… and then she refers to the media’s reaction, the media’s speculation that perhaps some of the incendiary language used has helped to create an intolerable environment that puts many in danger, as a ‘blood-libel’. Wow… just WOW. Is she really so poorly educated to not understand the words that stream so passionately from her mouth, or does she have a bunch of bumbling idiots handling her? Either way, she was the one to speak the words, so the buck stops with her, and so now as a Jewish congresswoman lies in a hospital bed in Arizona fighting for her life, a new swirl, this time of anti-Semitism give an already incredibly sad, terrible story yet one more incredulous angle. As with all tragedy, we are see the strength of human fiber rise as the inherent need to protect and help each other surfaces against all odds. It also gives us the chance to see the worst of human nature in the form of religious and political renegades attempting to seize the opportunity to make some political mileage at any cost. Someone please save Sarah Palin from herself, and buy that woman a roll of fucking duct tape, because that is really her only hope. Someone please explain that a huge part of the reason people have become disengaged from politics and voting is because they are fed up with the screaming, shouting, name-calling, mud-slinging games and just want to know what a candidate sees as the future, the solution to the problems we face, and now the hell to get there. Quit shouting over us, quit trying to snow us, and talk to use like we are your bosses… because we are certainly the ones footing the bill, and we are the ones who can hand you your pink slip come election time.

Now, I hear you already, reading this and saying ‘what a dumb bitch! She advocates freedom of speech in music and then slams poor Sarah for her choice of words only seconds later.’ Yes, I do. Eminem is not running for public office, is not taking steps to present the public in general, and spewing words that I can turn off and it makes absolutely no difference to my life or wellbeing. Politicians, however, do impact my life with their words, their positions, their actions, and their fucking stupidity. Her words are in no way considered ‘art’, they are considered ‘life’ and should she stand up there and refer to people in the same manner the songs do, if they were to advocate for the ‘beating of your bitch’, refer to women as hoes, and glorify violent sexual assault, that would be a problem.