BOILING IN OIL -- Pipelines and Politicians, If You Please

DATELINE: BOILING IN OIL -- As we wait for that great leader President Obama (aka Spineless Willie) to decide on the Keystone Pipeline, I thought it might be fun to throw some numbers at you. In the past twelve years, in the United States, there have been at least 82 known pipeline leaks. Now, that doesn’t seem like a lot, I suppose, but these are the ones where there was no human involvement to cause them, and these are just the pipelines that carried those elixirs of life – crude, diesel, gasoline and, in two cases, jet fuel. This does not include the ones that were hit by construction workers because the pipeline was plotted wrong on maps or by human error. These are just the suckers that woke up one morning and decided to let that precious lifeblood of a nation land on the ground.

82 leaks – little (or in some cases big) holes that sprung out of nowhere. Just 82, you are saying. Well, yes, but let me clarify this some more. For 11 of those 82, there are no estimates for how much product was lost, so when I say that considerably more than 209,024 barrels were spilled, it is based on only 71 of those leaks. This part you’ll love... I just KNOW it. Oil company talk is 209,024 barrels, but do you know why? Well, it’s because it is a whole lot less scary when they say that than when they say more than 8,778,997 gallons. Yes, that is almost 9 Million gallons of crap spilled, in just 12 years, from just little leaks that happen.

Now, I should be clear about this. These numbers are based on researching the leaks that are made known and are recorded in information on the internet. If anything, they are low-balled, perhaps a lot. Nonetheless, here is more information for you to chew on. Of those 82 leaks, at least 40 of them, so half, resulted in severe environmental damage and contamination, almost always of water sources, many times killing animals, sometimes resulting in evacuations, and sometimes, because that shit is incredibly flammable, causing fires when it ignites. In at least one case, the spill was so bad in the water, the oil company had to burn it off – yes, they set the damned lake on fire. I bet fish and fowl were totally thrilled with that.

Funnily enough, the name Enbridge, as owners of the pipeline, came up 9 times, and Kinder Morgan owned the pipeline 6 times. Even more surprising, while these leaks were spread out over 26 US states, 8 of them happened in Illinois. I bet a lot of oilmen don’t drink the water in that state. While Illinois takes the prize for the most pipeline leaks, it is followed closely by Texas, Oklahoma then California.

These leaks, it should be noted, have occurred many times in areas where they then contaminated major waterways. In several instances, huge numbers of fish and wildlife, including endangered wildlife, were killed – and it is a slow painful death for them. In many cases, these leaks happened in very environmentally sensitive areas, where there never should have been a pipeline in the first place.

Yes, we need cars. No one is so fucking dumb as to say otherwise. We need oil and gas, but we need the oil companies to be responsible. Up to now, they haven’t been. The only guide of any significance to them has a damned dollar sign in front of it. Some of these leaks went on for considerable time because they were small, but their damage was huge. Some of these leaks went unreported for a long time, so the oil companies could ‘hide’ it. There was absolutely NO consideration given to the fact that this contamination could kill more than environments or wildlife; it could kill people. We are gonna look a right asinine lot when we have cars to drive but not one drop of water to drink. Of course, Sarah ‘Blowhole’ Palin, Mitt ‘Who’ Romney, Newt ‘No Funny Nickname Required’ Gingrich, Michelle ‘Harpies Really Were Insane’ Bachman, et all, would have given any oil company the keys to a kingdom and a ticker tape parade – without one moment of consideration for the farmland, wetlands, water tables or homes that the pipeline would casually crash over with no regard for any form of organic life, including the fucking farmers. You see, oil companies are bullies at heart, because their only concern is the money. As for the jobs, take it from someone who knows – they will be there, for a year, maybe, but not as many as they say. Then they will suddenly disappear, and the oil company won’t give a flying fuck about anyone who was promised anything, including a job and great pay. We’re talking politicians and oil companies here. Never ever forget that.

But Mz Palin and friends bring me to another point – it’s not just the oil companies who cannot be trusted. The governments have made it more than clear they would sell out their own fucking children for one vote or a few campaign dollars. The pipeline going through the US now could well mean enough money for the Democrats to purchase the White House deed for decades to come. We are supposed to trust the very same organization that slipped the god damned Monsanto Protection Act through the process to become a law without anyone knowing it? Oh, wait... that happened ‘anonymously’*. The politicians sold out our entire farming community AND our entire food supply to one company, and now they say they have no idea how that happened? I can tell you how. Monsanto is run by bullies with money – the worst sort of human excrement on the planet. They made it legal for Monsanto to do whatever it bloody well wants with our food, genetically modify it and genetically engineer it using sheep crap to make beef steaks, and there is absolutely NO recourse for anyone. They have been given a permanent golden Get Out Of Jail free card and our entire food supply was the cost. We want to sell out the water supply to the oil companies? I suppose at this point in time, why the hell not.

Yes, we need oil and gas. We also need to find ways to NOT need oil and gas. We need that oil and gas to be transported safely. That doesn’t mean that they just bulldoze homes from people who don’t want the pipeline over their pristine land. It doesn’t mean that it goes over sensitive aquifers or through national wildlife reserves or national parks. The fact is, no matter what they fucking do to make it ‘totally safe,’ it is still made by humans and therefore is capable of accidental yet catastrophic failure. There needs to be strict guidelines for how they get their land and where they run their pipelines. There needs to be HUGE penalties for every god damned drop of product that lands in the air or on the ground – not some bullshit slap on the wrist. There needs to be absolute vigilance – not the relying on their state of the art computerized doodads that will protect us, because quite honestly, they fail as well, and when they do, with no human checks and balances, we are totally fucked.

So, Mister President, while you consider the pipeline – and the successful election of your democratic successor, because we KNOW that’s all the party is thinking about – give some thought to how the people have already been sold down the river – the grossly contaminated, undrinkable river. There will be oil for everyone, but there will be no one left to drive a damned car. While you’re at it, passing crap like the Monsanto Protection Act, perhaps you could come up with some new law that involves duct tape and Michelle Bachman’s gaping, stupid, idiotic maw. Now THAT would be a law worth some heavy campaign dollars.

It’s a time for responsible thinking, balance, logic and compromise. It is for this reason, I fear, that perhaps there is no hope, because these are words that don’t exist anymore in the power houses, ivory towers and hallowed halls of the United States of America. More’s the pity; it has become a living, breathing historical display of how empires crumble.


* The whole bullshit that is the anonymous inclusion of something in a bill being considered for legislation is probably the most lame-ass ignorant slap in the face to the voting public I have ever heard of, because there is no way in hell they don’t know how it got in there, but it’s just a whole lot more convenient to blame no one than be responsible and wear your convictions yourself. Shame on the entire political system for allowing this mountain of crappola to exist at all.

RAPE, ROMNEY, REPUBLICANS

Rape – it’s like the new Christmas morning for women!

It’s a sad day. At times, I almost feel ‘held hostage’ by what is occurring ‘on the other side of the line’ with our neighbors, the United States, because what happens down there sets the course for what happens here, and elsewhere. I realize that is an unfair burden to lay on the shoulders of the people of that country, but such is life when you are a land known, for centuries now, to harbor dreams of a better life, a more fair and just life, to prosper, to grow. The United States has, in the past, championed human rights globally. They have been brave enough to come to the forefront, take the stand for those who cannot stand because of the thumb of oppression, and show that the dream can be a reality for anyone, anywhere. It’s an ideal, yes, but many times what the United States does, is, and accomplishes becomes the hallmark for billions of others around the world. They are the big brother who inspires, supports, and yes, helps out the struggling little sibling when needed. They are a beacon of hope for those who have none. So what the hell is happening now?

The champion for human rights, for human dignity and freedom around the world is on the precipice of destroying those rights, those freedoms for well over half of their population. The rights that they cling to, the Constitution, Amendments and now the Bible, that they clutch so close to their breasts, are showing us an alter ego to that big brother, and I have to admit, it’s damned frightening.

There are candidates in every corner of the country now, making statements about rape – stupid, insensitive, scientifically wrong statements about rape. They made these statements while hiding behind a cloak of Christianity, because apparently THEIR God says that it’s okay to brutally attack women, to torment them, torture them mentally, physically, emotionally... and that it is God’s will. They say that women should ‘make lemonade’ when they are handed the lemon of rape. Who the hell compares a capital crime to picking fruit? They spew 16th century ideals about how women should be considered, they refuse to answer questions about what they will do to provide equal pay for women, they state that because of independent single women, there is more poverty and violence – yes, the increase in the use of assault weapons is due to single parent families. How easy it is to pass the guilt on to someone else.

MY God says that we should take care of each other, respect each other, not hurt each other – a drastic difference from the God who said that it’s okay to rape a woman because I will give her a prize for participating. Here’s the real kicker though – my God, and their God, have no place in politics. There is a reason for separation of church and state; you are seeing why in this last run up to the US elections. God is ‘convenient’. He’s a great scapegoat for what they do wrong, he is a wonderful reason to make impassioned asinine statements, he is a totally silent yet powerful supporter of the rhetoric spewed on a daily basis... but where do any of these people get off telling me that their God is right and my God is wrong? What gives them the right to speak for their God in the first place? It’s very easy to put words into a deity’s mouth, then command the rest of us to listen to his divine word, based on contradictory passages in a book written centuries ago, translated many times over, that is more of a political manifesto intended to appease the ruling authorities at the time it was written. Do I know this is what the book is? No, I can assume it, but I don’t know it. The thing is, no one can prove otherwise. Basing government decisions on the passages (that are, in the same authoritative source, contradicted) is at the very least ill-advised. It lowers society to the same level as the Taliban, a group of radicals who cherry-pick the parts of their authoritative source then use them as an excuse for killing thousands of people... including women who want to better themselves and not be controlled by a man.

I have heard discussions about radical Islamists on the news a lot lately. What about radical Christians? Yes, they exist. They are those who are blinded by everything BUT the rhetoric attributed to God. Hitler was a radical Christian – well, he was also nucking futs, but I have to say, some of what we are hearing now would probably make him very happy. Timothy McVeigh was a radical Christian. There are lots of them around – they just don’t get the same amount of press. Apparently their God has a better PR firm working for them.

I don’t want to see the rights of women, the world over, totally obliterated. We’ve worked hard to get the recognition we have, and we deserve a seat at the big people’s table. We don’t need men, apparently uncontrollably horny men, making decisions for us simply because they can’t keep their peckers parked in their panties. They say this issue is about abortion – that’s bullshit. It’s about control. It’s about superiority. It’s about manipulation, desire for authority, oppression, justification of male libido, pride and prowess, but it is not about abortion. It’s time to call it like it is, and it is time for those politicians who have a brain to distance themselves, and to demand a higher standard from their fellow candidates. This is a battle that was won long ago, and quite honestly, there are much bigger issues that need to be addressed seriously by men... and women, and gays, and Hispanics, and Jews... Why is this so hard?

Every 2 minutes, someone in the US is sexually assaulted. Every year, there are approximately 207,754 victims of sexual assault. 54% of sexual assaults are not reported to police, 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. Learn more at www.rainn.org

DAILY NEWS - SEPTEMBER 12th, 2012

DATELINE: STANDING TALL, WAITING FOR THE LIGHTNING BOLT – Or the storming of rabid religious zealots ready to kill me because of what I say about religion. I am not editorializing about God, Allah, Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, or any other diety. I am talking about those rabid irrational morons who believe that THEIR opinion of THEIR god supersedes every other, to the point where in their infinitesimal, moronic, questionably-existing brains, it somehow justifies killing someone else.

I don’t question God or His existence in any way whatsoever, in any form that he might take. I admire those who live their lives in a manner that respects others and themselves, where they treat others as they wish to be treated, because that is what all of these Gods have said in all their holy books. If a person finds strength in their God, all the more power to them. If they find comfort in the sense of not being alone, that’s wonderful.

However, when the bullshit dogma of the various religions, dogma that is intended to keep people ‘in line’ through fear of damnation or bribery of virgins, is something completely different, and is what causes the vast majority of the problems encountered in society, here and abroad. At what point do these morons wake up and realize that their God, in preaching tolerance, respect and love, did NOT intend for those guidelines to result in murders of millions of people over the last two thousand years. We blame God for war... wake up, idiots. It’s us to blame. Don’t cherrypick what your God is telling you.

So on the anniversary of 9-11, in what will without doubt be found to be planned attacks, two US embassies were mobbed, and four men were killed. They were killed because someone made a movie that didn’t look on religion ‘appropriately’. Does no one else see the fucking irony in here? They are so rabid about their adoration of their god, that they disregard one of the basic tenets of all religions – don’t kill. Let me say this again – because of a MOVIE, people deserved to be murdered. The Ambassador had nothing to do with the movie; nor did the other three men who were brutally attacked, but what the hell... it’s all in the name of God/Allah and religion.

To add to the absolute idiocy of this situation, the leader of the GOP responded to a statement that was never made by the sitting president, immediately on the scavenge for political points... political points that are bathed in the blood of innocent American citizens who were serving the US people overseas. Let’s add more emotion, more raving raging stupidity and anger to the situation, because that has worked so well. Scavenge? Hell yes, he swooped in like a vulture ready to pick on the bones of the victims. Political points? Yes, that was all it was about and there is nothing more fucking sacred than those... even if they are based on something that doesn’t exist. This is what you want for a leader? Seriously? Let’s push that button based on an invisible tweet, or a statement that never happened, when the attention should be on sorting out what happened, why, how to protect others... it wasn’t like the US government didn’t have things to do last night, other than be distracted by more Romney stupidity. There is a time for spewed political rhetoric and a time for cool, responsible examination and reaction – Romney, his first time out the potential gate, opted for spewed political rhetoric – and shame on him for that. A considered response is NOT a sign of weakness... the stakes are a bit too high for someone to shoot from the lip before having a fucking clue about what is going on. For once, it might be nice to see politicians doing their jobs instead of working to be re-elected – the only thing they seem concerned about doing anymore, starting about 10 minutes after each election.

The Holocaust was the result, in part, to religious intolerance and hate. The 9-11 attacks were about religious intolerance and hate. In the name of religion, people of the middle east are oppressed, controlled, abused. At what point do we say ‘enough’? It is not ‘showing weakness’ to not jump on the condemnation bus before you know the details. A united front would go so much further to stop the bullshit and cut off the media these terrorist thugs thrive on. This is not the time for political rivals to be taking stupid shots at each other, and this is not the time for the media to be sharing heartbreaking pictures of the Ambassadors last minutes.

Religion has a place in our society. Government has a required place in our society. The two have no business being bed-partners. The inclusion of religion in government creates an instant conflict of interest, inserts emotion where it is neither needed nor wanted. Celebrate your religion – YOUR religion. Understand that the basic tenants of religion are tolerance, respect and love – then try to actually apply those ideals to those of other religions. Can you imagine what a great fucking world it would be once that happens?

My sympathy, prayers and appreciation are extended to Ambassador Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, and the two security officers who gave their lives in the service of their country, as well as their friends and family.

DAILY NEWS -- February 16th, 2012

DATELINE: STANDING BY THE FONT, WANTING TO PUKE IN IT: It has come to the attention of the media today that the parents of Simon Weisenthal, the now well-known Nazi hunter who passed away in 2005 , has been posthumously baptized into the Mormon faith. While Mr. Weisenthal is not here to defend himself, his faith and the respect of his parents, others have stepped up to the plate, demanding that the LDS church stop the practice of posthumous baptisms… for Jewish Holocaust victims. What the hell is that? No, it should be stopped for all of them! I am sorry, but I am not now, and I will never be a Mormon, and I would be right pissed off if some asshole had the unmitigated audacity to ‘save my soul’ by baptizing me into a faith I did not believe in. Yes, the LDS church claims to have the fastest growing church… it’s just that they are getting dead new members, the ones who can’t cause any problems, or argue about it. It is the most egregious activity I have ever heard from, something that should not be happening, but it does, and it has for years, and GOP front runner Mitt Romney has already acknowledged that he has participated in these activities – ergo he thinks it is just fine to ‘force’ a change of faith for anyone who is not in a position to argue about it. My parents were staunchly Catholic; for them to be baptized into another faith after they are gone would be catastrophic. Where the fuck do these people get off thinking it is their ‘right’ to ‘save’ our souls. The LDS claims these baptisms are their genealogical database, that it only takes relatives of its members, but that does not make it right by any means, especially seeing how far down their bloodlines they are prepared to go in search of a soul to save. If someone wanted to be fucking Mormon, they would have joined that church. If they didn't join the church, then leave them the hell alone! No, they should not be allowed to do it. It should be fucking illegal.

DATELINE: PULLING THAT BARGE AND TOTING THAT WHALE – In what has to be the most offensive mockery of the judicial system and of the suffering of truly enslaved people, PETA once again crossed the line in their fanatical attempts to prove a point. They filed a legal challenge that the whales held at SeaWorld were ‘slaves’, not getting paid to work, their constitutional rights being trampled. First, this is a huge insult to the people who actually do work to promote conservation, because this bullshit sets all of their genuine work into the same category of idiots and assholes that seem to be making decisions at PETA. It is, though, the ultimate slap in the face to those who did live as slaves, generations of them, and their offspring who are still trying to lift that yoke from their shoulders. Don’t even get me going about the waste of fucking tax dollars involved for a court to hear this crap, and the wasted money from legitimate donors wanting to help conservation. This was nothing more than a fucking costly and very ill-advised attempt at self-promotion and it is despicable. Whoever came up with it should have their ass shit-canned from PETA right now. Anything less would be totally unacceptable.

DATELINE: LOOKING FOR A CELEB TO DIE SO THEY CAN RACK UP THE RATINGS – I sent my very sincere apologies to the family and friends of Whitney Houston. Her death was a tragedy, without doubt. That said, the performance of the media in the last week has been, to say the least, disgusting. What the hell is the matter with you freaking death-mongering news anchors? Yes, her passing was news on Saturday. Yes, there was definitely a reason to mention the tribute to her at the Grammy’s because her death was so fresh in the minds of everyone, but come on… five days of coverage of her death?? What the hell is that? There is nothing new to say about it, so give her family and her friends some time to grieve in private. Had I passed in a bathtub, I am not so sure I would want the whole world to be talking about it every minute of the day. If my mother died that way, I would not want it to be fodder for news media for DAYS. This is no longer reporting news. How many times do you have to stick a microphone into someone’s face and ask ‘how do you feel now that she is dead?’ What the fuck are you expecting them to say? This is disrespectful… completely and totally disrespectful and classless. It is disrespectful to Ms Houston, to her family, to her friends, to her colleagues, to others who may have passed, to the family of service men and women who have passed, to the homeless person who did not have the good fortune to be discovered to have an astounding voice. Let it go. Show some fucking class.

DATELINE: DEMANDING SMALLER GOVERNMENT BY CREATING MORE GOVERNMENTAL BULLSHIT RED TAPE – Women wanting to have an abortion, for whatever reason, have to submit to a vaginal ultrasound probe if they live in Virginia. In the midst of all the bullshit about Republican demands about the sanctity of marriage (while the concept seems to mean nothing to them personally), while they thump their bible and decry the rights of other religions, while they try to legislate contraception where women are concerned (I don’t see any of them demanding the end of the sale of Viagra though. Hmmm, if sex is to be done only for the religiously-determined procreative purpose, what the hell do men need Viagra for? Or does the penis earn an exemption again in the population control issue? Penis perhaps are not required to be procreational?) So, while I do not agree with partial-birth abortions or with late-term abortions, to create a law that subjects a woman to an invasive medical procedure for NO reason is un-fucking-believable! What about the woman who, because of cultural reasons, is forced by her husband to have an abortion because the baby is the wrong sex? Now she has even more to deal with? An unnecessary chance for a doctor to stick something more up her crotch just for the sake of making her life more difficult? What the hell is wrong with you people? I guess it’s official, based on this new Virginia legislation and the GOP primaries, that the US is now completely determined to strip absolutely anyone of their rights unless they strictly adhere to the tenets of some convenient religious dogma. Way to go. How fucking sad.

DAILY NEWS - JANUARY 10th, 2012

DATELINE: OBSERVING THE CORONATION OF TURD ISLAND’S KING SHIT -- Finally, the damned GOP primaries have started – not a fucking moment too soon, because I was really starting to get sick of the gazillion debates so far. I’m excited. I’m a bit of a politics junkie, and, well, there is no nice way to say this, but the US has become the ultimate crack/speed/LSD fix – always extreme, always ugly, with a surreal quality of constant ‘what the fuck, man!’ that continually offers a follow-up hit with more pizzazz and less time in between, exactly what a junkie longs for. Their new prayer is Thank God for the United States of America and its never-ending election cycle. That said, I do not envy the Republicans their job of gleaning the wheat from the chaff in this weed-infested crop of crooks, hate-mongers and idiots.

I have grown tired of the hypocrisy of Romney and Gingrinch – holy crap, those two have written the damned book on hypocrisy in the extreme! I have given thanks (and even lit a candle) that Palin and Trump decided not to run – yet – and that Bachmann and Cain pulled out, because that was just way too much stoopid to even consider a possibility. That Santorum is still in there astounds me: to my dear friends on the warm side of the border, there are no coincidences – there is a reason that the man’s name is synonymous with frothy semen-filled shit. That ain’t no accident, and is something you really don’t want to be looking at every night for the next 8 years while eating dinner and watching the flatscreen. The man is fucking insane, and will seriously take your human rights back to a point where Kim Jong Il and Stalin would look moderate.

Of the many concerns I have with Ron Paul, the top one is that I can’t look at him without hearing Mr. Magoo’s voice. I can’t imagine the most powerful country in the world being led by a cartoon character. The thought of Mr Magoo strolling into the United Nations building with a passionate plea to call the world to arms, to unite against some heinous mutual threat, would have people laughing their asses off. Sorry, but he may as well talk like Alvin the Chipmunk as well, because as far as credibility goes, anyone who had good cartoon taste as a kid is not gonna take him seriously… and that could be more the danger.

Rick Perry, apart from having terminal Foot-in-Mouth Disease and needing Ed The Talking Horse on stage with him to help him count to three, proudly uses as his big boast the fact that he loves to kill people (just slightly better than Romney stating that he likes to fire people). Yes, thanks to the valiant efforts of Rick Perry, the US is essentially tied for third place at the International Government Executions Olympics in 2011 -- just a handful of lives behind North Korea and Yemen, but miles ahead of the next competitor. With Perry at the helm, you can well expect, with great pride, to give second place Iran, or even the front-runner, China, a run for their money. Does it not bother anyone that there is NO developed country in the world even competing in this event?

Here are the things that make me scream at the set though. How can this incredible collection of excrement stand there and scream about the evils of class warfare while bragging about being a product of it with every other sentence? How can they logically think there is one magic ticket to curing the economic woes of a country? For fuck sake, dropping taxes to the ‘job creators’ is the biggest load of cow crap I have ever heard. It’s the ‘job creators’ taking their jobs overseas, to where they get essentially slave labor at the hands of impoverished, desperate people (and a resultant crap product) that contributed to the problem, as well as Gingrinch’s Freddy Mac and Fanny Mae shit – and sorry, you can paint that outhouse with any color paint you want, but it’s still gonna be nothing more than a hole full of shit, Newt. Historical consultant? My ass! The largest corporations out there right now are sitting on billions, praying for that tax cut, not so they can hire more people on this continent, but so they can line their own fucking pockets and fuck the people over again – while passing handfuls of money under the table to the politicians who are pushing this fucking agenda. Why is this so hard for you dopes to see? There is a desperate need for tax reform, and that does not mean to keep taxing the middle class and lining the pockets of the likes of Gingrinch and Romney, but giving it some mile-long bullshit new name. You wanna talk about fucking class warfare, you better start looking in a mirror, then watchin your ass, because someone is gonna put on their Robin Hood costume and you two dolts are surely gonna be mistaken for that lousy, crooked, evil, heartless Sheriff of Nothingham.

Plus what is this crap about wanting less government, but then saying the government should federally regulate who sleeps with who, who can use birth control, and what church is acceptable? You might be wanting to lead the most powerful nation in the world, but that is not quite the same as being God. A leader with a god complex is… well… Kim Jung Il or Stalin. You want to control religion and ethnicity? Well, Hitler also managed to do that – for a while, but I guess anything is on the table when world domination, your pocketbook and a place in history is on the line. Fucking with this shit in politics is incredibly dangerous, and incredibly stupid, but I guess if the republican party is so narrow-minded and asinine to put someone like this in a position of leadership, they can reap what they sow. That a country the size and scope of the United States of America can only come up with this list of lame-brains to offer as their best and brightest is the saddest fucking thing I have ever seen.

That said, I will go out on a limb and make a prediction. Based solely on the very scientific process of pulling a name out of my ass (the same principle apparently employed by these candidates when discussing just about any issue), I will predict it will come down to sadly, Romney and Huntsman, with a Trump card being played in the end run. Why? Because everyone else on the playing field has had their one major pass, that one chance to take it across the goal line in a hail of glorious cheers, and they have dropped the ball. Bachmann, Paul, Perry, Cain, Gingrinch (twice), and now Santorum all did a meteoric rise to the top of the heap, only to open their mouths with a bit more press coverage and say that thing that made the people go ‘Holy Hell, What Were We Thinking!’. There is a reason for the huge undecided vote among republicans, and that is because the choices they are being offered are about the same as offering them a choice of death by disembowelment or being tied to an anthill and covered with honey to allow the critters to eat them alive. Huntsman has not had that chance to rise to the top yet. He’s a late bloomer, and he will start his holy ascension now, late enough in the game to put him near the top in the end, which leaves the evangelical right with the unbelievable choice of picking from a table with only two dishes – neither one being fish, but both of them belonging to that radical upstart cult of Mormonism. How sad that a candidate’s religion is even a topic of discussion, but if there is one thing it’s easy to scare people about, to bring out the worst in them, its religion.

But what about the Trump card, you ask? Well, I suspect that SOME people, when his choice isn’t going to make it across the finish line, is gonna toss his hat into the ring as an independent. That’s sad on two counts, the first being that he really should not take off any hat that hides that bad comb-over, but is also sad because of the elementary school-yard attitude it portrays. For God’s sake, the man has a golden crapper but still uses a ShamWow on his hair. More to the point though, it will give the Republicans just what they don’t need – another reason to be idiotically divided.