DAILY NEWS – JUNE 1, 2010

DAILY NEWS – JUNE 1, 2010

DATELINE: BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA – This is Israel’s situation -- always damned if they do and damned if they don't. If they do something to maintain their own country's security, they are condemned by the rest of the world, and if they don't, they will be attacked... again... by Palestinian terrorists. Israel is a country where people are trying to live their lives, where peace is only a dream, where no matter what they do, they receive global condemnation for their actions. Please remember that this is a country of Jewish people, a people who were literally turned away from almost every country in the world for no reason other than being Jewish, despite their plight or situation or need. So I ask, would we sit back and tolerate ships coming in to our waters with aide for terrorists hell-bent on annihilating us? If a flotilla pulled up in New York, what reception would they receive? Yes, the premise of the flotilla in question was that they were working for the cause of peace. That’s why they brought 600 people along for the ride? It takes that many people to deliver aide to the Gaza Strip? Here is the thing. For several years now, both Egypt and Israel have been forced to check the ships that come in with supplies to Gaza. Terrorism is a daily fact of life there, something we would not tolerate on this side of the ocean. The attacks in Israel are not front-page news here, but they happen... daily. The fact of the matter is that aide to Gaza is, essentially, aide to Hamas, a known terrorist organization that makes no secret of the fact that they want Israel removed from the map. Hamas will make sure the people living in Gaza, their own Palestinian people, do not have the aide they need. They can’t afford to allow those people to flourish, because by keeping people oppressed and poor and uneducated, terrorists can further their own cause and create more hate. The ships that were boarded were done so in a routine fashion. These particular ones, though, were intending very publicly to run the blockade, to breach the security lines that help to protect the people of Israel. Now, let’s face it; no one else has the balls to stand up and help the Israelis, so they have to take care of themselves, and so we should butt out and let them. The inspection followed the set routine that does not change from ship to ship, but while doing nothing more than what our customs agents do every fucking day in this country, they were attacked, and they were attacked for the ONLY purpose of garnering media attention to those running the blockades. The Israeli forces who were doing the inspection were not heavily armed as the media would like us to think, and they were attacked and beaten for doing their job. It is interesting though, that there were people on board the flotilla who were assigned the task of specifically ‘defending the journalists’, which smacks to me of nothing more than a propaganda load of crap indicating the attempt to aide was nothing more than an opportunity to incite problems for the Israeli government. It matters not if there were weapons found on the damned boats. If there was nothing to hide, there would be no reason to attack those tasked with inspecting the shipments. Had someone tried to breach our borders or our security, they would feel the full brunt of the law, not condemnation from the rest of the world. Governments should hang their heads in shame. Perhaps if Prime Minister Netanyahu could find some oil under their dry, blood-stained soil, they might get more international support. It seems it always comes back to that.

DATELINE: IN THE MARBLE HALLS OF INJUSTICE – In 2005, a boy at a SkyTrain Station in Surrey, BC was beaten to death. The reason for this was because he was wearing a chain around his neck that Katherine Quinn, 22 at the time, wanted for herself. Matthew Martins, 16, fought back, and that prompted Quinn to order her boyfriend, the ball-less, brainless Robert Forslund, to attack. While Quinn screamed ‘If you love me, you will kill him’ to Forslund, the boy was slammed repeatedly into a wall, kicked as he lay on the ground and then had his throat slip with a broken beer bottle... FOR A FUCKING CHAIN ON HIS NECK. There were four witnesses to the crime, all of whom testified at the trials. The Judge hearing the retrial (ordered on a technicality after the first trial saw a guilty verdict for both Quinn and Forslund) said that the four witnesses were not reliable in her opinion, and so Ms Quinn was found ‘not guilty’. Yes, this sick piece of crap who at the very least stood and watched, if not actively participating in, the attack is free to walk the streets. God help anyone who happens to wear something Quinn takes a hankering to, because undoubtedly she now believes, and probably rightly so, that she has the world by the ass and can do nothing that will send her to prison. Our justice system sucks here people. Of course, Comrade Harper won’t give a rat’s ass unless it’s one of his that gets violated. My heartfelt condolences go to the family and friends of Martins, and I hope that means more than the same condolences offered by Madam Justice Baker as she read her verdict and declared justice had indeed been carried out. Justice? My ass.

DATELINE: WHERE BP MAKES ME SLICK TO MY STOMACH – Just when ya think there is nothing more they can do to surprise us, BP manages. A restraining order has been filed against the oil giant... yes, a restraining order, filed by a fisherman who was helping them and who got sick. Here’s how it worked. BP went to the out of work fishermen, out of work because of BP’s incompetence and negligence, and offered to pay them up to $3000 a day to help them with their efforts to stop the spill. These are fishermen who now have no livelihood left. They were taken out where the dispersants are being dropped, dispersants that come with warnings for proper protection in areas where it is being used, protection for the skin and the lungs and all sorts of cool things. But the fishermen were told by BP that if they wore masks to protect their breathing, they would be fired. John Wunstell was one of these fishermen who went out and was around the dispersant, who got sick and ended up being medivac’d to the hospital. Outside the hospital, he was showered and cleaned up in tents set up to work with the people coming in from the oil slick areas. He was then taken into the hospital where he was admitted and treated. When he asked for his clothes back, though, he was informed that BP had taken them and would not be giving them back. The same applied to the other eight fishermen who were taken in to the hospital suffering from upset stomachs, nosebleeds, severe headaches, shortness of breath, nasal irritation... of course, the CEO for BP blames this on ‘food poisoning’ because apparently he has a fucking medical degree too. The oil company’s position on masks was that they did not supply them and they were not needed. They know they were not needed because they were carefully monitoring the air quality. Now, I’m sorry, but if I was told that, I would not be instilled with confidence either at BP’s ability or honesty. There are also reports that anyone who complains about the conditions or the health risks has received threats and so many are hesitant to talk about any of this. How much more of this shit are people going to put up with from a fucking oil company? Come on, Obama, get off the fucking pot and take care of this, before more people die. The cost in lives, a fact that seems to be totally irrelevant to some, has been to fucking high already.

DATELINE: ON OPRAH’S COUCH – Fergie, the Duchess of York, admits she was drunk when she was involved in the sting that found her offering, for a mere $40,000 cash up front and 500,000 pounds payment, access to her ex, Prince Andrew (aka the only hawt royal). She was ‘in the gutter at that moment’, not in her right place, that she was having financial problems, and she is sorry, so everything is just fucking fine, roses everywhere for the royal who just won’t stop adding some spice to Queen Lizzie’s life. Fergie, get a fucking job.

DAILY NEWS – MAY 31st, 2010

DAILY NEWS – MAY 31st, 2010


DATELINE: SO TO BE ON THE TABLOID 'PATHETIC PEOPLE OF THE WORLD'! – Just when you think you heard it all, Sarah Ferguson steps up to the plate and hits the stupid ball out of the park. She was broke, ya see, so under those circumstances, when you are a royal or another of the beautiful people, you are allowed to do damned near anything... and then when that blows up in your face, you go onto Oprah, get some moolah for talking to her, drum up a few new sponsors and start your latest book to exploit your stupid. Some claim she was not able to make the transition from ‘royal’ to ‘ordinary’ as far as her spending went. Funny, but the royals claimed she was not able to make the transition from ‘ordinary’ to ‘royal’ as far as class and poise was concerned (of course, Prince Phillip get a ‘by’ on all issues of class and poise as well, but he has earned that through many years of idiocy). Yes, I suppose the queen was not amused to learn that thorn in her paw was still there, this time selling access to Prince Andrew, the one and only truly beautiful royal... and damn, might I say he is aging well!!


DATELINE: ON A SEA BED, OILED DOWN AND READY FOR MORE SCREWING – On the heels of yet another futile attempt at stopping the oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico, some BP internal documents revealed today far more than was ever revealed before Congress – that the oil giant was already aware of some serious safety concerns and problems with the Deepwater Horizon. In June of last year, BP’s own engineers warned that the metal casings the company wanted to use on the rig were substandard according to the company’s own safety policies and design standards. They were warned that the casings could collapse under pressure, but what the fuck? The company went ahead with them anyways despite being fully aware of the risk, and yet, while testify stated that there were no risks taken by the company at all. Further documents also authored by BP’s own engineers pointed out that the casing was ‘unlikely to be a successful cement job’ and that the plan was ‘unable to fulfill MSS regulations’. This, along with the reports from a BP’s internal investigation regarding warning signs of an immediate blowout of the well leading up to the explosion. These included a report to federal regulators from BP that they were experiencing a loss of ‘well control’ and reports that on at least three occasions there was evidence of problems and leaking with the blowout preventer on the well, and yet it never once occurred to these fucking assholes to stop work and fix the problems? Hell no!! Can you imagine what it would cost to stop the well and do something proactive? Why would ANYONE want to piss away money like that? And where the hell was MMS when all this was going on? Oh yeah, being wined and dined and basically bought out by oil companies and allowing them to put off doing mandatory testing of the blowout preventers. While BP lied... ooops... ‘inadvertently’ failed to include all the details of the problems they were facing with their well when submitting information to government agencies, the problems continued until now, after over a month of oil gushing into the ocean, they are still stymied as to how to fix the fucking problem, and continue to turn to their engineers for help – those would be the same engineers they refused to listen to about the problems in the first place. Yes, the President should put a hold on ALL fucking oil wells in the water unless and until they are all thoroughly examined and can prove they are taking the proper steps. This is NOT a situation confined to the Gulf of Mexico or Louisiana fishermen, who are getting totally fucked over, but is far more reaching than that, and since we have seen that one oil company does not deserve even a shred of public trust, the rest of them should be held to account. I am not a terrorist, yet in order to board a plane I have to submit to a myriad of requirements and inspections and inconveniences... other oil companies might not be so fucking irresponsible as BP was, but then they should be more than happy to prove that fact.


DATELINE: ROME, ROME ON THE RANGE – Well, that could be where Pope Benedict’s ass ends up when all this scandal bullshit is said and done. Seemingly the master of the mixed message, in one report the Pope admits that the disease afflicting the Catholic Church comes from inside and requires correction, and in another report... well, not so much. The Associated Press has, through court filings, obtained documentation that shows Cardinal Ratzinger (the current Pope’s previous persona while doing Rottweiler duty for his predecessor J2P2) was asked in 1989 by Bishop Daniel Ryan of Springfield, Illinois, to defrock one Rev Fr Alvin Campbell. It seems that Campbell was a confessed abuser of many children in his parish and even served time for his actions, but Ratzinger, that paragon of fucking virtue and sound logic, denied the request because it lacked ‘the request of Father Campbell himself’. Lemme get this straight: Because the Priest didn’t ask to be defrocked, our Modern Day Inquisitor would not do so? When the hell was it up to the priest to decide that? The church, and the Vatican in particular, seem hell bent on doing anything to protect the church and it’s priests, no matter what the cost in the destruction of human lives. The time delays and bullshit back and forth about a man who abused children is shameful. In this case, as in many others, bishops once again claim that their hands were tied by the tone, rules and examples provided by Rome, and yet the Vatican argues that they had more than enough opportunity to deal with the issues. This of course follows the Vatican’s other attempt to allow shit to flow down-hill... by claiming that legal suits brought against Bishops for inaction were for the Bishops alone to deal with; Bishops are NOT employees of the Vatican and so the Vatican cannot be held responsible. My number one rule... when they start to pull out the bullshit legal babble and justification, it means that they have no doubt they are guilty as sin but are too fucking feckless to acknowledge just how hugely they have fucked up. Funny how no one, though, comments on where the responsibility of the Cardinals might be... guess we have more than enough proof of that already with the fact that Cardinal Bernard Law was allowed in the last conclave and is still doing his thing in Vatican City. It’s all bullshit. It’s time it was dealt with.


DATELINE: ON A GREEN, LESS ANNOYING PLANET – Studies from Michigan State University show that the use of solar panels is causing a crisis of insect-sized proportions. The shiny dark surface of the panels is confusing to bugs who lay their eggs on water (like mosquitoes) and so the stupid little bug-gers lay their eggs on the panels instead. Yes, the eggs get sizzle-fried, and voila! No more mosquitoes. Now, the researchers say this is a terrible thing, and I suppose for the mosquitoes it might be, but I fail to see the point, especially if I am not getting the point of their pointy proboscises in my ass. Yes, I know there are other species who lay eggs on the water, and yes, i know its not right to mess with the balance of nature, but you have to admit... a way to save money AND get rid of mosquitoes at the same time is pretty much a win/win scenario.


DATELINE: SOUTH KOREA -- A baby is dead because her parents could not stop playing games at internet cafes. Her father, 41-years-old and her mother, 25, were sentenced to two years, which is disgusting enough, BUT the mother will not be doing any time, because, well... somewhere inbetween internet games and cafes, she managed to get knocked up again. Yes, this woman is going to have another one. The little girl that died had struggled against the odds after a premature birth. She was fed one bottle a day, when her parents remembered, and often the formula in that bottle was sour with age. Her parents found her dead in their apartment when they returned home from an all-nighter on the internet gaming rounds. They had left their baby unattended. She died of malnutrition. These people should not be allowed to procreate; they abused that privelege and should never have access to children or computers again.

Sunday Sermon with Reverend Dillinger

Sunday Sermon with Reverend Dillinger

freedom such a grand editorial for the slaves of father knows best; those two-timed poor bastardos that claim heart is in the home and bullshit like that. so as we go merrily along building our snowmen we find inevitably that warmth is a desire not wasted on the want nots who sit with their fingers up their rear ends hoping, even praying if one has to be so bold, that life will not exact the toll of others as related to the animal kingdom.

trudge, dear hearts, upon the waste land, that place where other beasts roam searching for their daily bread simple survival; not egocentric whorderbies ordered by some ponce who is living off his mother and does not have the guts to stand and be counted, rather deferring choice to voted heads of nothing which we are becoming in this, the greatest country on a dishevelled planet which does not search for warmth nor cold but allows it without choice to be as it should which is right-correct? it is politically satisfying to the preachers of non denominational crap such as those elected by the wind blown empty minded morons who profess freedom of choice. what a fucking joke we are right? then again how would anybody know as where the lords of public proclaim that clarity is a sitation void of deliberation, therefore it is as it should be. take your pumkin pies and throw whipped cream to the wind--no no it will land where you choose it to and not where the wind does blow, no no.

love

signed

animal kingdom of nod where there is a lot of nodding off and oh look! that famous celebray is dead-oh dear oh dear-what's for dinner Marje?

DAILY NEWS – MAY 20th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – MAY 20th, 2010

DATELINE: WAITING FOR SPONGEBOOB – In yet another ‘interesting’, albeit not surprising, revelation today, BP acknowledged that just maybe their estimates of how much oil was gushing into the ocean were a bit optimistic. Just a bit? Their siphon that is supposedly capturing only a small percentage of the spilling oil is picking up 5000 barrels a day, ergo... I fucking love when I can use albeit and ergo on the same day... ergo their estimates for the last month are just a small percentage of what is actually devastating the ocean. Some scientists and engineers have been stating they believed the well to be spilling at a rate of 20,000 to 100,000 barrels a day, something that was poo-pooed by BP, but now, hmmm, kinda hard to argue that point. Besides, who the fuck is going to believe one word that BP has to offer about the spill now? The oil has managed to get past the booms set out to protect vulnerable areas, is now approaching the mouth of the Mississippi, is now into the Loop Stream and being carried through precious coral beds and around the panhandle, and is splashing ashore in a heavy gooey mess that no plant or animal will be able to survive without intervention, and even then it will be doubtful. So much for the fucking booms. BP has also been spraying dispersant on the oil slicks, meant to make the oil sink to the sea bed. Whoop-de-fucking-do. It won’t be washing around in the waves, but it will still do just as much damage and what the hell happens to it down the road? But today BP was told by the EPA that they have one day to select a different dispersant and three days to get in sprayed on the spills. Why? Because out of the 18 dispersants approved by the EPA, the one BP is using, Corexit 9500, is one of the most toxic and least effective on the list. Yahoo! I am shocked. It was probably the cheapest on the fucking list too, because God knows, BP wants to scrape every penny it can for that next upcoming round of executive bonuses.

DATELINE: LONDON, IN MANY NIGHTMARES NOW! – The mascots for the 2012 Olympic Games in London were unveiled to much applau... well, to some applau.... honestly? To a hell of a lot of people going What the Fuck Are They? And what the hell were the designers smoking when they thought that up? These one-eyed things that look like shiny sperms, or perhaps giant vibrators with arms (especially since they only each have one eye) are named Wenlock and Mandeville, both names having significance to the history of the Olympics and the Paralympic Games. Nice names... but what the hell is the rest of this about? The two mascots are supposedly drops of molten metal dripped in the final stages of the building of the Olympic Stadium and taken home by a retiring worker where they were turned into... sperm-like things... for his grandchildren to play with. These ‘things’ are topped off with taxi lights on their heads, for whatever reason. We’ve come a long, and rather scary, way from the days of the first mascot, Waldi, the colourful striped dachshund of the 1972 Munich games. On the good side, after revealing Sperm One and Sperm Two, there is only UP to go from here for the planning of the London Olympics, right?

DATELINE: WHAT THE FUCK PLANET DO THESE IDIOTS LIVE ON? – Imagine being on the county payroll, going into work one day and being told that you had been overpaid and need to return the money. Then imagine that the overpayment occurred 16 years earlier. Such is life if you live in Lawrenceville, Ga. The county’s CFO has decided now is the time to ‘clean up receivables’ and where else to do that but from the employees who were paid bonuses in 1994. They are not being unreasonable about this though... the employees can apply the money to vacation leave or just pay the county the cash. Now, first off, I have a hard time believing this crap is even legal. It should fall under the category of ‘you snoozed, you lose’ and the person who made the fucking mistake should be on the hook for it, not the people who did the work, got a bonus and are now being screwed over. And what about the employees from back then who are gone, moved, dead, changed jobs... how does the county plan on getting the money from them, because I can tell you right now, if they came to me with a fucking bill like this, I would gladly submit a receipt that showed the money was used to purchase food, and offer to pay them back with crap.

DATELINE: HANNAH NOT MADE IN MONTANA – Wal-Mart is pulling an entire line of Miley Cyrus crap jewellery trinket shit from their shelves because it is all... wait for it... toxic. The jewellery trinket stuff is, which is truly a wonderful irony, even a metaphor for the situation. Now, to be fair, most jewellery contains metal cadmium, and it is not harmful when worn as jewellery. The problem arises when young children are exposed to the jewellery because if they put any of it in their mouths, the metal cadmium becomes very toxic. The kicker, though, is that Wal-Mart was aware of the problem in February, but decided at that time to play the ‘stupid’ game, stating first that it had no way to test products already on the shelves, then saying that it was not intended to be purchased by children. What the fuck? It’s Miley Cyrus. Who the hell else is gonna wear that crap? My guy comes in with a gift box and there is a Hannah Fucking Montana charm in it for me, that charm is gonna be shoved up my guys ass so far it will not stop till it pops out his left fucking ear. Of course kids are gonna wear it and stick it in their mouths because kids stick everything but vegetables into their damned mouths. Once AP broke the story of the metal cadmium content, though, Wal-Mart decided to man up and pulled the crap from their shelves. Perhaps it might behoove both Wal-Mart and Miss Montana to pay attention to where their products are made as well, but apparently that lesson is just too fucking hard for any of these idiots to grasp.

DATELINE: HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? – In a story that is both astounding and promising, a deal has been struck for the management of over 72 million hectares of forest. The unlikely partnership? Between Canadian conservation and environmental protection groups and, you might have to sit down for this one, major Canadian logging and timber companies. Yes, two entities, two opposites in the form of NGO’s and Corporate Canada, managed to sit down and get their shit together. They have agreed in basic terms what areas of the forests will be preserved, where caution must be exercised, what sort of environmental situations are in each one and what areas are okay for logging. The two adversaries have realized that co-operation is the only way to proceed, and they did it totally behind the scenes, with no Bru-ha-ha or fanfare and without any government involvement or interference. Now that the bare bones have been worked out in what could well be a landmark co-operation, more groups will be brought in for their input and advice, and the group will slowly grow to make sure that all voices are heard and all needs are met. Thank the Lord there might still be some people left in the world who do give a shit and are ready to work together to accomplish one goal with benefits for all. Can you imagine what the fuck could be done if government parties could be this fucking mature and enlightened?

DAILY NEWS – MAY 19th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – MAY 19th, 2010

DATELINE: CAUGHT IN A FLOOD – OF FUCKING STUPIDITY -- President Mugabe of Zimbabwe might not have a God complex, but he apparently has one hell of an identity crisis happening anyways. In his attempt to rewrite the whole Noah’s Ark story, Mugabe, in the title role, has decided for some absolutely unfathomable reason to send a present to Kim Jong Il. ‘And the present?’ you ask. Well, nothing less than two of each species of animal found in Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park. It doesn’t matter that there is NO facility in North Korea that meets international standards for animal care. It doesn’t matter that some of the animals they are planning to send have virtually no chance of survival, because they are being taken from their mothers too early in their lifecycle – like the two baby elephants Mugabe has ordered. Included on the list are black and white rhinos, cheetahs, lions, leopards, giraffes and gazelles (for the record, black rhinos are an endangered species, as are some species of white rhinos as well) – but apparently what the hell does that matter?). Now, I ask you, what the fuck does Kim Jong Il need with these animals? In a time when global organizations are working their asses off to protect many of these species, and when it is absolutely critical to get the exotic pet trade under control, along come Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumb-Il. Keeping these animals in private collections cannot be tolerated anymore. The promoting of wild animals as status symbols has contributed greatly to the demise of many species, and yet these two dumbasses decide it would be a good idea... totally out of the blue. Johnny Rodrigues, head of the Zimbabwe Conservation Task Force has been looking for international influence to help stop this stupidity, but already there are trappers running all over the fucking park collecting this damned order. It is to be hoped that world leaders pay attention... although it is sadly unlikely that they will do sweet fuck all about it, because so far they seem intent to just sit back and watch these two run totally amok. It’s to be hoped the animals aren’t sent to Korea by boat, since, well, you know... they seem to be getting shot at a lot by the North Korean military. I wonder how long it will be before the ark is delivering a similar present to that pillar of humanity Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or good old Vladimir up north there, because apparently Mugabe thinks his little presents will hold him in good stead with the Batshit Crazy Despot Society of the world, totally forgetting that they, like him, are totally fucking nuts and will turn on him in a heartbeat once the opportunity arises.

DATELINE: ON A PROLIFE SPEECH CIRCUIT – Speaking of total fucking stupidity, Sarah Palin’s teen-queen daughter Bristol has signed on to the speech-giving circuit, speaking out about abstinence and her pro-life position. I am sorry, but WHY??? Why the hell would people pay money to hear her erudite analysis of any situation? The Palin protégée speaking about the reasons NOT to get pregnant and have a baby while getting paid thousands of dollars to pimp her bad choices seems rather counter-productive to me. This is sort of the same as Monica Lewinsky speaking about the huge monetary benefits of getting an education. The fact that she would whore out her life and, more to the point, her child’s life, all because Mommy is ‘famous’ is rather nauseating. If she was sincere about her position, about wanting to help and reach out to young people, she would not be soaking them for $30,000 an hour. If she was sincere about her desire to be a mother to her child, she would not be traipsing all over the continent telling others that she made a ‘mistake’ and they should not do what she did because it will ruin their lives. Hmm, I guess that alone explains why she will need the money – to pay for her son’s counselling when he is trying to grapple with being considered a ‘mistake’ for the rest of his little life. The child deserves better than that. Teenagers deserve better as well... not someone from a ‘famous’ privileged family spewing platitudes at them that are nothing more than ‘Do as I say, not as I do... because I already have the market cornered on this’. It’s one hell of a way to line the pockets though. Guess the apple... well... you know. Drill Baby Drill... truly a Palin motto.

DATELINE: FRANCE, A FREE AND DEMOCRATIC LAND – UNLESS YOU WEAR A BURQA – From those same people who brought you the Peugot and Camembert cheese comes the latest contribution from France – ‘Burqa rage’. This one we could have lived without. While shopping the other day, a Muslim woman, a young woman of 26 who had made the conscience decision to convert to the religion, was approached by a woman raging about a fellow shopper wearing a veil. The raging woman, a 60-year-old lawyer, no less, then reached out and ripped off the veil, voicing her opinion that the law to prohibit them should already be in effect. By all accounts, the Muslim woman had done nothing to cause this bullshit reaction from a woman who is sworn to uphold laws and protect human rights. When the Muslim woman retaliated and tried to get her veil back, the lawyer’s daughter then also stepped into the fray. In the end, all three women were arrested, the Muslim woman being charged with common assault, the charges pressed by the bitch lawyer who started the whole fucking thing. The Muslim woman has accused the lawyer of racial and religious assault. Well, ain’t this a lovely situation. I wonder if the bitch lawyer would walk up to a Catholic nun and rip off her wimple for the same reason... that it represses a woman’s freedom and dignity. Yes, nothing says ‘let’s give them freedom and dignity’ by allowing them to be attacked while shopping because of what they wear. There is no way to disguise this – it is absolute outright discrimination and religious persecution, and this from the country that claims to have given the world ‘constitutional separation of church and state’ AND the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Apparently they also give us, based on those two claims, the living definition of hypocrite. There is nothing to be gained by banning the burqa other than to propagate more hate. Well done, Sarkozy... what a fucking sexist chauvinistic hate-monger you turned out to be.

DATELINE: PAKISTAN – Nope, I can’t even come up with a smart-ass dateline for this one because I am too busy smacking my head in disbelief, and to be totally frank (which some might find unusual for me) there are NO right parties in this one... it’s just a whole lot of stupid on every side of the board. The Pakistan high court has ordered that Facebook be blocked throughout their whole country. The government had already ordered that an offensive page be blocked, but that was overturned, and the whole site has become forbidden. The page that kicked all this off? Well, it is called ‘Everybody Draw Mohammed Day’. Now, as you all recall, I TOTALLY supported Boobquake because of the entirely dumbass premise offered by Iranian clerics who obviously had their heads up their asses and who totally fear women because we might have brains as well as boobs (unlike the clerics who have two heads and neither one housing a brain). Boobquake was about stopping religious persecution and did not fly in the face of any accepted religious premise. Everybody Draw Mohammed Day, however, is about nothing more than taunting an entire religion and ridiculing the beliefs of that religion, the one belief that is a founding principle of their faith... and that is just ignorant. While I understand that it was a fun thing for some, and for some it spoke to the freedom of religion, in a time when religious tolerance and education are so very important, this was not the way to prove a point. Bookquake was about dumbass clerics, and in my world, every cleric, especially the dumbass ones, are fair game. The defiling of a critical deity to any religious group, though, crosses the line to religious hate propagation. That said, the reaction of the Islamic Lawyers Forum and the Lahore High Court are equally as ridiculous and detrimental to society. The government’s original move to block the page in question was arguably logical; the decision to appeal and push for the blocking of the entire site, however, is a dangerous precedent. The decision robs the people of Pakistan, all people including those who are not Muslim, the right to access public communication and information, and that is also wrong... although I suppose no one has ever accused the Pakistan government of actually embracing the ideals of democracy and human rights. Losers: everyone in this story, in every possible meaning of the word.

DAILY NEWS – MAY 18th, 2010 -- HAPPY 100th BLOG

DAILY NEWS – MAY 18th, 2010

DATELINE: UP TO THEIR ASSES IN OIL – Crap shoots and condoms are still the only plans of the day for stopping that fucking gusher in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico – bandaids at best while wildlife and livelihoods suffocate because of it. On the good side, it seems that there is no ONE person to blame for this. Inspections were not done, maintenance was not completely done, the oil company tried to cut corners, the hallmark of a true corporate entity in the world these days, and government regulatory bodies allowed them to cut corners. Amidst the updates for today is word that the oil spill has reached the loop current, that wonderful special spot in the ocean where the warmest waters swoop out of the Gulf, around the panhandle and up the eastern coast where the oil can contaminate that much more. It essentially means that the spill would become uncontainable at that point. There is also word that President Obama has, by executive order, called for a presidential commission to look into all aspects of this disaster, and yes, this is a fucking disaster. Among other things, the commission would review oil industry practices, rig safety, regulation and government oversight. The role of the MMS will also be reviewed, and none too soon. Let’s not forget the fact that MMS’s own records show they were negligent in their inspections of the Deepwater Horizon, so what the hell were they doing to earn the money they were being paid, other than kissing the asses of oil executives? Sadly it seems the only ones NOT under the gun on this would be the folks at Halliburton, those wonderful people who brought us the War in Iraq, who are still pocketing millions of dollars paid for with the lives of soldiers and civilians. It’s amazing how quietly they just keep running along in the fucking background, unquestioned and unaccountable as long as they bring in the fucking money.

DATELINE: MASSACHUSETTES – In a case that only adds emphasis to the fact that parenthood should require formal training and minimum qualifications, 24-year-old Matthew Brace tried to trade his 3-month-old daughter for two 40-ounce cans of beer. He was waiting outside a gas station convenience store while his wife was inside buying cigarettes and offered the child to a maintenance man working outside the building. Now, I have no fucking idea how long it takes to buy a package of cigarettes, because as you all know by now, I have no fucking vices, however, this man managed to find the time to almost die of thirst, because no other excuse would possibly work, THEN the maintenance man had time to phone the police, and THEN shit-for-brains Brace had time to take the baby and run to hide behind the fucking garbage can. Brace has been charged with reckless endangerment, the child has been taken into custody by state welfare. Somebody PLEASE check the water out there to see what the fuck is in it to make people do this stupid shit. That HAS to be the reason because its hard to believe people can be this stupid naturally.

DATELINE: ARIZONA – Just when you think the Catholic church cannot be any more irresponsible or asinine, they manage to up their game. Sister Margaret McBride was the administrator of St Joseph’s Hospital in Phoenix, a Catholic hospital, was reprimanded and demoted because she participated in the decision to perform an abortion that was necessary to save the mother’s life. Let me say this again... a young woman, pregnant and suffering from extreme pulmonary hypertension went to a hospital, a Catholic hospital, for medical help necessary to save her life, and because she was offered that help, she and the nun who worked there were excommunicated. So, lemme get this straight: it is okay to physically, sexually, emotionally and spiritually abuse children, to destroy their lives by this action, as long as the abuse was committed by a priest, BUT for a woman who is distressed and who’s life hangs in the balance to receive what was deemed by ALL protocols and staff as a necessary medical treatment, she deserves the ultimate penalty dished out by the Catholic Church. For starters, where the hell does the church get off telling ANYONE at a hospital that they cannot provide a necessary medical procedure? Seriously, if I am in distress, do I now have to stop and debate what hospital to go to because I might be refused treatment based on religious dogma? Bishop Olmsted, in charge of the diocese where the hospital is located, stated “An unborn child is not a disease. While medical professionals should certainly try to save a pregnant mother’s life, the means by which they do it can never be by directly killing her unborn child. The end does not justify the means.” Well, asshole, if the mother dies, and she is the vessel for the baby, the baby also dies. Now you have two people dead. Does this same logic apply to transplant cases, where the heart might be removed from one tragically dying child to save the life of another tragically dying child? Would they and their parent and the hospital staff also be excommunicated for their actions, because surely removing the heart from a child would accelerate death. But even more ignorant is that you dare to lay this crap, this religious bullshit on the doorstep of a woman who is probably suffering enough already, who could well be emotionally devastated that she lived at the expense of her child. Nothing like adding on the pain and... well... abuse. This is wrong, it is inexcusable, and it is about time this crap stopped. Why not try, just for the hell of it, to preach about love and understanding, about acceptance and respect, about faith... and forget all the other political and power-struggling bullshit.

DATELINE: ONLY IN FUCKING HOLLYWOOD – Whew! Charlie Sheen will be back in Two and a Half Men. The news broke and the sun started to shine all over the continent, because there were billions of people hoping and praying every day that we would not lose that Monday night show. Of course, the dollar amount wasn’t revealed, but seriously, we all knew it was about the fucking money and nothing else. Charlie Sheen wanted to concentrate on his film career and family? Gimme a fucking break. I am sure that while he is dealing on one phone with his agent for another big movie gig, in the other hand is the phone where he is pleading with jail officials to please please please let him have his cigarettes in jail, despite the fact that no inmate has been allowed to smoke in jail for 15 years. They are also working to get his time to serve reduced from 45 days, but he will do it if he has to. He can be a brave little soldier, own up, repent, use the 45 days to reflect on his life and the choices he’s made... or he will spend them breathing a sigh of fucking relief because by doing the time, he reduces his probation period afterwards, and god knows, he would not be able to keep his nose clean for two whole years. Two years! That’s a fucking lifetime by Sheen’s standards. Just as well, because what the hell else would I have to blog about if he was expected to not fuck up for that length of time?

Sunday Sermon with Reverend Dillinger Flaitwaker

It was a dark and stormy night.

People of faith unite behind the new King of Kings. I saw him-his name is Bernie. He is a cornyoucopeyeah of various colors, feathers, long flowing gown which was vermillion with a beige interior. He is striking to say the least. If you as yet have not seen him allow me to succle your voracious curiosity re: our new King of Kings. He is of average height for a King-about eight foot two. Tan of skin I would say with a long slightly elevated proboscus and large-very large nostrils. Two furious eyes sit atop this symbol, deeper blue than a good Greek grotto, eyebrows flaming orange that do not intersect at the bridge of his nose but rather collide. Of course he is without hair of any kind which I have heard is also quite the God trend these days. Wings, huge damn black wings. About a twenty foot span I reckon. So the question I hear you all asking-how the hell you know if this turd is our new King of Kings? Yes, yes I hear your mumbles which are not yet screams but soon will be on the day of reckon-oystering. Next paragraph.

He said he was and he performs miracles as well which are they say at least marginally telling. He has made light where there was none. He has held the small child broken, dead. Touched its forehead with long gentle finger which made the child live once again. He forgot to mend the broken bones and the burns, but, hell half assed miracles are still miracles right? I heard he shed a long tear over ruddy cheeks as the little brat crawled away and eventually was killed again by a rabid snail. That of course was Lucy's work-the bitch never learns and keeps on and on admousoleum. As I said he did many wonderous things. He created a span across the Rubeyecon bridging hatred from one religion to the other so that it was easier for the haters to kill one another and so grow closer to him. Yes, yes there were a whole lot of naked broads who were almost virgins walking behind him and on occasion flying with him. Now if that is not a damned miracle what the hell is right? New Paragraph.

He is heading your way my children. I am making ready the highway of our God because every valley shall be annointed and every mountain and hill made low which is not so good for ski people, flooding and general global warming but another sure sign to be ready as I am. When he comes I am going to kill him with an ass load of buckshot. I kinda like Lucy's world. Hell at least I get regular sex from a nice and pretty broad and to tell you the truth them naked broads with wings? I think sticking to the lower road is perhaps better for me. So you see once again your Reverend Dillinger will save you all and kill the King of Kings. I shall be with you my children in your hours and hours and hours of need.

If you want this to be the last Sunday Sermon which most of you I think do, send money. Lots of it. I gotta live for a long time right?

Love Reverend D and the deesciples of earthly pomegranites and shit like that!