DAILY NEWS -- March 25th, 2010

DAILY NEWS -- March 25th, 2010


DATELINE: HAITI – LMFAO!! This will be classic if it wasn't so fucking pathetic. Bush does the Bill Brush-Off. Put two former presidents together in a crowd, have them shake hands with the locals, and then sit back and laugh. If it was not evident before, no one can now argue that George W Bush is either a certifiable jerk or a certifiable fucking lunatic. Shaking hands with one local, he frowned, held his hand as if it had just made contact with radioactive fucking isotopes, and then, in the stealth move of the century, leaned over and wiped his hand on Bill Clinton’s shirt sleeve, sorta like some bratty kid that just reached for a handful of crap and didn’t like the mess. Nothing says ‘Yes, I am here to be one of you and to help you overcome… you dirty icky much-lower-than-I-am people’. The award for the most childish insult of the political day goes, hands down, to George Bush.

DATELINE: NETHERLANDS -- The owner of a small coffee shop was sentenced to 16 weeks in jail and a $13.3M fine… yes, that would be $13,000,000.00… for selling cannabis from his shop. At one point, he had 15 employees to serve over 3000 fucking patrons a day. 3000 patrons at a coffee shop every day, enough to cause the town to put up street signs to the place and install extra parking lots for it, and no one twigged on why? While it is legal to have marijuana there, in amounts up to 18 ounces, on several occasions the police, while raiding the place, found in excess of 440 pounds of weed tucked away there. Because the police did not take action the first couple of times, the fine was reduced from the expected almost $35M fine – because the police played a role in the operation.

DATELINE: ROME – How the hell much longer is Pope Benedict going to continue this game of misleading the public? When the hell is he going to do what he commands of all his fucking flock – confess and do the penance? More importantly, though, how many more hundreds of people have to suffer at the hands of this bible-thumping lunatic? He was the fucking leader of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith for twenty years before being Pope – he was the fucking ‘enforcer’, the ‘big man’ who kept all the other cardinals, bishops and priests in check, and he was ruthless about issues like birth control. Apparently, though, sexually assaulting children is something not worthy of a response or reaction from him. Today, evidence surfaced from two archbishops who contacted the then Cardinal Ratzinger about a paedophile priest who was sexually assaulting the deaf boys he was responsible for, so YES, the fucking asshole KNEW what was going on. The priest was moved to a different parish, able to still have contact with children, able to still carry on with his perverted needs. When a canonical trial was finally arranged, the priest contacted Ratzinger and requested that the hearing be stopped, because he was ill and wanted to live the remainder of his life ‘in the dignity of (his) priesthood’. What about the dignity of the more than 200 boys this man raped and molested? What about the remainder of their lives spent with this hanging over them? There is no fucking way in hell that Ratzinger, in his former key role at the Vatican, knew nothing about all these cases. The man had a fucking underground information system that could put the KGB to shame, and yet, even now, the fucking assholes who surround him call this an ‘ignoble attempt’ to discredit the Pope? Jesus H Christ on a cracker, we don’t need to do that. Everything the man does, everything the man says, only makes the situation worse. He treats the catholic world like we are a bunch of stupid fucking hicks, that our lives are worth less than the rat shit on his shoes. The man discredits himself, his office, and his entire faith with his handling of this. Do what’s right, ease your burdens – its time you live your fucking faith and come clean, and give some of these thousands of victims at least a little bit of the rest they deserve.

DATELINE: OTTAWA – Ann Coulter has said she will file a complaint with the Canadian Human Rights Commission because of the way she was treated prior to her planned speech at the University of Ottawa. Excuse me while I piss myself laughing. Yes, she feels her human rights were infringed when a provost for the university sent an email to Coulter to remind her that she should remember that in Canada, we have hate laws. It is illegal here to make the types of hateful and ignorant comments that seem to spew out of Coulter’s mouth like ants out of a dead elephant’s asshole. It was a friendly reminder, warning her that yes, we have laws and so be aware of that. Apparently Coulter took exception. Perhaps that means she will fucking bless us with never coming across to our fucking side of the border again. Nothing like pissing away more of our money on nothing.

DATELINE: VICTORIA – Once again, a cell phone captured police beating on people. Yes, it was late at night outside a bar, and yes, there were a lot of people there, but the footage shows two officers restraining a ‘drunk’ on the ground while a third police officer strolls up to the scene and starts to kick the suspect on the ground several times. He then walks over to another ‘suspect’, this one already sitting on the ground and bleeding from the face. A second cop turns the suspect over to handcuff him, and Officer I-Like-To-Kick-The-Shit-Outta-People walks over to them and kicks the suspect in the kidneys. Victoria Police Chief Jamie Graham’s response – his officers are not going to get hurt dealing with drunks, they deal with them every night, so apparently its fine when they do this crap because it’s the city’s fault for having so many drunks. Me thinks that Chief Graham is vying for a position at the Vatican, because he is almost as good as making up lame ass excuses for the terrible behaviour of his police officers.

DATELINE: VANCOUVER – Convicted murder Clifford Olson is out of jail today, on a ‘medical pass’, a day after it was revealed that he has been receiving $14,000 each year in prison from his federal pension. This man killed 11 children without even a hint of remorse. This is a man who sold his ‘memorabilia’ from his kills on a fucking website about his accomplishments, and reported raised half a million dollars. This is the fucking piece of shit who would not tell police where the rest of the bodies of these children were unless they paid him $100,000… which they fucking did! This man killed children, and has spent the last 28 years using every means at his disposal, many of which should NOT BE at his disposal, to torture the families of his victims and drag out their hell. This man is the poster boy for the fucking death penalty up here. The federal government’s reaction yesterday – Finance Minister Jim Flaherty said WITH A CHUCKLE, that he supposed it should be looked into because he had heard from a number of his colleagues about the issue. How fucking magnanimous of him.