DAILY NEWS – APRIL 29th, 2010

DAILY NEWS – APRIL 29th, 2010

DATELINE: WALLSTREET -- Lloyd Blankfein claims that since Goldman Sachs is a ‘market maker’, they are automatically absolved from any fiduciary responsibility to its clients for any bullshit piece of crap deal they set up for their clients. Their only responsibility was to provide money for Goldman Sachs…themselves and their designer pockets. Even as they KNEW the disaster they were inflicting on millions of people, they were still selling fucking crap to (ie robbing) widows and little old ladies, knowing that it would destroy the purchaser. You see, apparently the financial industry has changed in the last 15 years, and because big business had stopped going to Goldman Sachs for ‘solid investment’ guidance but rather for them to broker deals that most likely screwed over someone else, it was apparently okay to fuck over every one of their OTHER not big-business clients… the ones who would lose their homes, their pensions, their jobs, their entire life, because they were on the other side of the equation—the ‘bend over and smile cause we are gonna screw ya’ side. But THAT’S okay, because this is business, and Goldman Sachs had NO moral responsibility to anyone other than the big dogs while they sat and licked their wounds about not being the total fucking be-all-and-end-all in dishing out advice on how people should invest. No, they did not hold a gun to anyone’s head to make them spend the money, BUT they did have a reputation of being Goldman Gurus, and so whatever they said had to be right. Funny, but fraudsters don’t typically hold guns to anyone’s head either, not do Catholic priests with overactive penises looking for anything available to fuck over. So, it seems to me that the one sure way to determine the integrity of ANY bank manager or financial advisor is really very simple – they should be forced to disclose how much money they lined their pockets with in wages and bonuses for a three-year period, and based on that, the ones who have something even remotely approaching a realistic normal amount are probably the ones with at least a smattering of morals. Unless and until the public gets detail accounts of the amounts of money that these pricks from Goldman Sachs made while they watched the rest of the world, yes, the world, burn, they will have zero credibility and prove only that they are arrogant asshole crooks in Armani suits. For that reason, every one of those men sitting at the table in front of the Senate Subcommittee, should no longer be allowed to manage money for ANYONE ever again, because their warped sense of self-righteousness, entitlement and ethics more than proves they have no intention to ever change how they do business. They are the pedophiles of the financial world. Lock the assholes away.

DATELINE: IN THE EMERGENCY WARD, GETTING HIS FOOT OUT OF HIS MOUTH – You just have to love these stories, the ones where politicians, all polish and sparkle and teleprompters, forget all that crap when wearing a microphone. Gordon Brown followed in the footsteps of George Bush, Jean Cretien and Ronald Reagan, voicing his not-delicately stated editorial opinion of someone with whom they just dealt. I totally LOVE how the first thing British Prime Minister Gordon Brown wanted to know was who had arranged for him to meet the lady he was talking to – and NOT that he was a total fucking idiot. To be fair, I thought he handled her comments adequately, so I am not sure what he was so worried about as he walked away from the on-the-street interview while he was campaigning this week. However, in reading through the MANY available transcripts of his interaction with the senior constituent, I have not seen ANYTHING that she said that makes her a bigot. She asked about all the immigration, just one line, about all the immigration they have experienced from eastern Europe. She has a right to ask that. Perhaps it was that buried between the lines of her short one-sentence comment about the issue, there was what could be maybe stretched to imply an editorial comment on political correctness and how it might be wrong to ask about the issue, but it was an issue nonetheless, and to be honest, all this politically correct crap only allows more opportunities to be politically incorrect for whatever the hell is the reason of the day. Gordon Brown is, as well, entitled to his opinion and certainly he should be allowed to it while in the privacy of his own chauffeur-driven car, however he said a mouthful about HIS intolerance to the concerns of the people he so wants to represent. Start packing, Gordo, because I think you are gonna be out house-hunting in very short order.

DATELINE: CHINA – Apparently even when the flame dies down, the games are never really over. In 2000, at the Sydney Olympics, there were questions about the age of Chinese gymnast Dong Fangxiao. The Chinese athletic organization argued that she met the minimum competition age of 16, and although the IOC tried to investigate, there was no evidence they could find to support claims that the diminutive athlete was only 14. The same issues existed at the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics, with some of the Chinese team appearing to not meet the age requirement, but the paperwork confirmed the claimed ages of the girls. Now, however, as a result of the Beijing Olympics, it seems the evidence required to prove Dong Fangxiou’s age surfaced when she filed paperwork to be an official at the 2008 games. Yes, she wrote down her age, and after some simple ciphering, the International Gymnastics Foundation had the evidence they needed, and the IOC stripped the team of its bronze medal, awarding it to the US team that had come in fourth in 2000. I can’t help but wonder how a 14-year-old girl, living in a communist country where, if you are told to shit in the corner, you ask how much and what color, because it could be a life-changing (or life-ending) thing to refuse, could be held responsible, but that being said, I think there is a very simple way to deal with the issue from now on, because stripping medals under these circumstances sucks, AND it sucks even more that the team that should have been given the medal at the time, with the flags and the pomp and ceremony, were robbed of that. So, the IOC should state, in no uncertain terms, that ANY time this shit comes up, either because of the actions of the athlete or the ‘patriotic pressure’ (wow, how’s that for putting a nice name on a can of crap) of the country that athlete represents, at the NEXT Olympic games following the discovery of the lie/abuse/cheating/etc the ENTIRE TEAM in that event is not allowed to compete. If they know they will have to wait 8 years for the next chance for ALL members of that particular team, then maybe this shit will end. Belated congrats to the 2000 Sydney Olympics Bronze Medal winning Olympic team of Amy Chow, Jamie Dantzscher, Dominique Dawes, Krista Maloney, Elise Ray and Tasha Schwikert.

DATELINE: TORONTO -- There is a man, a hawt man, a talented man, a man with an arm that is the envy of every baseball team in the land. No, I will refrain from breaking out in song, but it will be a challenge. The man? Jon Lester. The feat? 11 strike-outs and only one hit in 7 innings of play against the Blue Jays, taking the three-game series and soundly tucking it into his incredibly hawt back pocket. Backed by an equally talented, equally hawt team with the likes of Jonathan Papelbon, who pitched the ninth to clinch the deal, Marco Scutaro, Adrian Beltre, Dustin Pedroia… well, the list would be as long as the roster. My only bitch? That I can’t get the fucking games here… all we get is hockey hockey hockey, enough hockey to make a person puke daily in their shoes. I hate hockey, so I hope they hurry up and get the crappy Stanley Cup over with so we can watch something with totally hawt guys in red socks.

DATELINE: GULF OF MEXICO – Before I start, lemme check on just what Sarah Palin is saying these days, her ‘Drill Baby Drill’ regardless of the costs. For the cost of something as simple as a remote-controlled shut-off valve – called an Acoustic Switch in the industry -- 5000 barrels (210,000 gallons) of oil would not be contaminating the Gulf of Mexico every day right now. According to the federal Mineral Management Services, the issue of making the valve mandatory has been discussed before, but the oil companies argued about the cost and effectiveness, and besides, they had a failsafe method for dealing with emergencies. They say there is not enough data to substantiate that the valves would really work, but evidence from both Brazil and Norway show them to be incredibly efficient and necessary, to the point where the MMS publicly stated they consider the acoustic switch to be ‘an essential component of deepwater drilling’. But for some incredibly arrogant reason, the switch still is not necessary in US waters, because why in the hell would ANYONE in the US want to regulate the oil industry? Sarah Palin would kiss their fucking asses every day, give them the world on a platter as she prostrates herself on the altar of the Oil Big Boys. Perhaps she should be down there looking at the fucking damage being done, damage that despite the efforts of clean-up crews will STILL impact the fishing industries along the coast. This stuff all comes with a price, and when dealing with oil companies, that price is substantial to the taxpayers, the consumers and the environment. The cost of the clean-up so far has been estimated at $6,000,000.00 each DAY, and they have a long way to go before they will be able to plug off the three breaches in the underwater oil pipe. Lemme end with some ‘say it ain’t so’ numbers, because I totally love em. In 2006, there were 3858 oil and gas platforms in the Gulf of Mexico. They all have a main shut-off valve on the ocean floor. Many, but not all, have a ‘deadman’ switch that is supposed to shut the valve on the ocean floor in case of catastrophe. Since 2001, according to the federal Mineral Management Service, there have been 69 offshore deaths, 1349 injuries, and 858 fires and explosions. That’s just in 9 years. In the case of the Deepwater Horizon, the deadman switch did not work, remote control submarines are not able to get to the shut off valve in the sea-floor. The cost of this? Replacement cost alone on the rig is $560Million. Add the cost of the cleanup, the cost in human lives, the cost in environmental damage and the damage to industries in the area, and you have to wonder… an Acoustic Switch costs $500,000 – chump change for any oil company.